Wonderwall

let's flyyy ayyy ayyy ~~

2011-12-21T23:58:00.000+08:00

up, up, here we go, go

where we stop nobody knows

- rocketeer, far east movement

i'm just gonna drop everything, and fly. nothing's gonna hold me down.

although, i'm not quite sure i might be capable of that, at least not completely. there's always gonna be that little guilt creeping up on my conscience. then again, i'm pretty much a care-free person. i'll just brush it aside and lock it all up and leave it there in the deep corner of an attic and just forget its existence.

it's not that i don't care at all. i do, just enough, for my own sake, to get me through.

but right now, je vois la vie en rose! life that frown, upside down (^^)

la vie en rose is a a beautiful song, btw ;) go listen! it means "life in pink".

"je vois la vie en rose" means "i see the life in pink" which figuratively translates to i'm feeling happy about life, i am optimistic, i feel fine, everything is okay, i forget about all worries and depression, i'm seeing life through rose-pink eyeglasses.

- courtesy of yahoo answers ;D hee.

oh, last monday, i had my presentation for my french class. and i think i did pretty well. i even had the song la vie en rose as a background music and it sets such a nice atmosphere. for me at least, to present (^^) i got 17 over 20 which i'm kinda very much proud of (^^) hehehe. in the beginning of the semester, he did say that 17 is very well. 18 is like amazing, as in pronunciation-wise and language. and only frenchmen can score 19 and 20. i'm very excited if i could ace this class. teehee. i think being multi-lingual is very cool.

crick, crick *the sound of crickets..

2011-12-21T23:53:00.000+08:00

you see.. i created this blog because i used to have lots on my mind that i need some place to let the steam off.

so you see, now that i don't blog much, it's because my head has become pretty much a quiet place. i guess my brain is overworked, and have shut down for a countless times already due actuarial math and financial math. it is overwhelming.

plus, i'd usually blog at night. that's when i feel much alive, and more awake than ever to write something. but nowadays, i'm just too tired. i skipped everything and head to bed as soon as possible. by soon, i mean usually by midnight. i have no idea what i'm doing till midnight -.- studying is definitely not it. i don't burn the midnight oil. like i said, i'm just too tired.

then, when i start to write, or talk, or write.. one thing lead to another and an intentionally short post becomes longer than expected. so voila, here it is.

let the camera rollin'!

2011-12-02T17:48:00.006+08:00

i feel good today :) i guess i kinda love being involved in something, a project.

we're making a video for a class. i had a good time. we were only gonna film one scene, but it seems to take forever. hahah we spend almost 2 hours, i think, at the location, for a . . what, 2 minutes clip? haha i think there were kinda lots of bloopers. i've always acknowledge that acting isn't as easy as one might think (though it kinda came naturally to me, wehehe). so yeah, hats off to those editors, videography crew, directors whose movie's a blockbuster (^^) i wonder how daniel radcliffe got through his work. it must've been hard though. i've always thought it would be really awkward.

anyway, we had a rough time, because . . well, first, the lines are in french. so it doesn't come as easy to memorize. or even to pronounce it! and none of us are really actresses to begin with. lol ;P that's the funny bit. anddd, all the stars aren't on scene. we had one missing. and we didn't wanna waste any time, so we take shots after shots and thought just cut and put the pieces all together in the end. hahaha now that i've said that, it sounded as if we're professional enough to pull it off. mehhh, whatevs. we'll just see. otherwise, we'll just pass it off as a stop-motion picture ;P as a'a mentioned. we're amateurs anyway. teehee.

"that's a wrap!" :D after, and in between takes, what's a camera without a photoshoot ;D hee, i've uploaded all of the great pics on facebook, so you can see them here ;)

i kinda like the park, the set location. it's kinda very secluded in the middle of a city. i find it very peaceful and calming. i think it'd be nice to jog or hang our there. just that there's lot of mosquitoes.

bring me to life

2011-11-18T20:05:00.003+08:00

on a lighter note, my parents are going away for the weekend :( they're "hanging out" with their friends. boohoo. what am i gonna do now?

err, study? duhh. haih.

i am bored out of my mind. i've tweeted that already. i've also tweeted the lyrics to bring me to life. it's the best song to summarize what i'm feeling right now. dead.

i am so sick of actuarial science.

*gasp* you did not just say that ?!

oh, yes, i did.

i have been for awhile now. i don't know what to do with my life. i seriously don't. they say college is where you "discover" who you truly are. or experiment with the possibilities of directions of where you wanna go about your life. or so that's what i've heard, and seen on tv. i watch a lot of tv's that there's where i learn most of life lessons. haha.

i wish it didn't have to come to this

2011-11-18T18:51:00.006+08:00

my gosh. i was so ridiculously happy back then, reading back my previous post. i've been blogging for the past three years now, i see. november 2008. it's a good thing that i've blogged. specially those good ol' days. those entries are like pictures that transport you back to a moment in time. and it's nice, to remember such things. life flies by. it's either you've lived it or were just killing time.

i wish i could say i'm living my life to the fullest. if i'm being honest to myself, right now, i'm just existing. at some point, yes, i did appreciate it. but all good things come to an end.

a thought flashed. i love twitter. i don't like facebook. i don't facebook anymore. except for maybe the online album. when i'm on my laptop, twitter's the first page i'd open. that's where i go to now. one liners to sum up my thoughts are much easier to express than to write it all out because my train of thoughts is a wreck. it is so incoherent that i ended up deleting the whole post after i'm done writing it all out. at times, it didn't even make much sense that i stopped writing leaving it hanging and without a conclusion that it seems pointless to begin with.

i'm messed up.

p.s. i've been watching scrubs. and this is how i relate to j.d., the voices in his head. except i don't narrate my life. besides being a commitment phobe.

the voice is back

2011-11-15T19:36:00.004+08:00

hey, this may sound awful but i kinda wish i have a boyfriend to deliver me nasi goreng to my door right now. i'm too lazy to go out and grab a bite. but nahh, even if i have one.. i may be hungry but when i think about food . . . :S i've had way too many to eat during the mid-term break. there, the hunger's gone.

speaking of which, i still haven't break out of the holiday-chillin'-comfort-carefree bubble! shoo. i've kinda made a promise to myself that i'd get down to business once class starts. the trip has spoiled me good. gah, i was messed up even before the break. it seems that my study will only lasted as long as kim's wedding. teehee ;b

plus, class is cancelled tomorrow. and that doesn't really help to get into my study mood. perhaps a "yeay" is in order, but . . i don't know. i'm too lazy to study. but i can't be as laid back anymore. finals is in five weeks. my study leave is already an opportunity cost. i gotta start studying now, like for real. otherwise . . *i started to ramble about depressing stuff which i then backspaced*

toodles.

p.s. i love scrubs, the tv series. it's funny. and sweet, and everything in between.

p.p.s. hold on to the good memories. cherish it. laugh, see a comedy if you have too.

don't judge me, i just love holidays

2011-11-13T19:30:00.005+08:00

i had one week worth of holidays, mid-term break, and you know what i did? shopped at a paradise known to shopaholics, bandung. i didn't tell anyone though, where i was going or that i was going. i was afraid. i was afraid of what they might say back to me. i have tests coming up, so i was kinda afraid that they'll judge me, as in, i shouldn't have gone. i should've stay back and study.

oh, well. i had the opportunity and i took it :D i grabbed it. i jumped at the chance of it. hee. and it was the best decision i've made. hehehe. you know you've shopped like a shopaholic on a high when your hands can't hold any more shopping bags or you slipped a thing or two or more out of your mind when listing what you have bought for the last three days.

the thing is, i was kinda feeling all depressed inside. so it was a good thing to . . live a little.

we had three full days in bandung, and all was spent out and about. went out early in the morn, came back at night. perhaps i was tired at the end of the day, but nahh, i didn't exactly felt it.

ahh :) i'm still high on cloud nine from the shopping trip. i'm smiling for no reason. i'm really happy. hehee. satisfaction level, maxed-out. (in reference to the sims, hee). now, that! was living. and i loved it. i try to cherish every moment of happiness. so that when i fell down again, i have something to pull me up. hence, the blog.

p.s. which is why i rarely post when i'm down.

p.p.s. i'm so gonna fall hard after this, with tests and all. reality have yet to sink in though. still cherishing (^^)

days of the week

2011-11-08T17:22:00.006+08:00

tuesday's my favourite. because . . well, because it's not monday. and if i have classes today, it would be my favourite class. plus, gelare has special discounts on its waffles, every tuesay, like pink day for baskin robin ;) i only like wednesday just because it's pink day. i used to go every week. but i think i've had enough ice creams for now :S on 31st, i bought a pint and shared with a'a and emma. boy, that was *burrrp* awesome. hahah my dad also bought some, which i also had at the end of the week. then, today, again at gelare! fuh. i guess, i won't be having any for awhile.

my diet routine. or more of a cycle. of phases. i would have a feeding frenzy phase, of which enough is never really enough. i would always find a room to cram in my foodlust. at some point, i would actually have enough, and would go with only a meal throughout the day, sometimes. i don't really have dinner. i only eat lunch, cause my love for food could never fade, and went away for good. and thus, because of that, the diet phase is over and comes the feeding frenzy. see, it's a cycle.

i try to control my portions. even during feeding frenzy. it's important that i keep my figure (^^) if i have one :P i think i do okay :) anyway, as patrick stump said, and i quote "a lot of it is portion control." :D he exercises, but most of it is because he's eating less (less than he used to, i guess). so, that's what i'm doing. hee :D

behold, patrick stump's interview about losing 60 pounds! he's looking foinnne ;)

you are not alone there, interviewer. i wish i have somebody to tell me no too. it was funny and harsh to take the apple pie away, hahah, but i understand. and it's nice to have somebody to split the hotdog with :)

which is why i love eating with my family, specially with my brothers, cause they always finish up half portion of my meal ;D

p.s. this post was merely cause i was bored.

Some facts about me

2011-11-06T22:30:00.003+08:00

it's been awhile since i've blogged. not in the mood. plus, i don't have much to tell. and twitter's trending topic has given me an inspiration. i would tweet about it, but . . . i feel like it gotta follow with some explanations or examples. so here i am.

1. silence is loud.

that's how i feel. and i don't mean awkward silences between people sitting next to each other and have nothing to talk about. i mean, whenever i'm alone, i gotta crank up the music. i guess, it's my way of coping. i'm a bit of a faint-hearted. so, in my room, i'd usually plug in my ipod to the speaker. i even keep the music up all night. or all day, if i have too, at the apartment. hee.

2. i'm short-sighted.

my friends already know this one. but before they knew me, they never thought of it, since i'm wearing contact lenses, and not the coloured ones. they were shocked to see me with specs on. i don't like wearing specs. if i could, one day, i wanna do that surgery, lasic, i think is the name.

3. i don't eat vegetables.

except for maybe mushrooms and cabbage (cooked in a certain way.). again, my friends already know this. i had made it very clear. hehee. i find it kinda embarrassing when ordering subway, but whatevs ;)

hrmmm, what else. oh.

4. i'm a movie maniac and a tv fanatic

i go to the movies almost every week. it's really not something to brag about, but i find that this is the one thing that could define me. cause really, i am not word, i am not a line, i am not a girl that could ever be define (Nicky Minaj). this is my thing. some people do crosswords, or sudoku. me, i catch the latest movies and tv series. tower heist is not as funny as the trailer.

that's all on top of my head.

i guess, the only interesting fact is #1.

i try to constantly update my music library. i heard them songs from mostly tvs, if not radios. i love the songs on vampire diaries and scrubs.

recently added ;

sideways, citizen cope

gravity, the young international

spotlight, patrick stump

all kinds of time, fountains of wayne

mary go round, josh golden

i find the last one on youtube, through chester ;) such an eye candy.

p.s. : i really don't have much to tell, not even on my birthday. wanna know what i did ? sit in and watched scrubs all day. kinda depressing, but the days after that was nice.

talking about depressing . . . maybe in another post. or maybe not.

canoeing in the city

2011-10-06T22:32:00.005+08:00

reading back my previous entry, i had no idea know why i was feeling that low.

but now, i just felt like everything is coming together :)

i had a good day today :) and yesterday. and the day before that :)

and the fact that every morning the guard would wish me a good morning is just awesome. i kinda needed that. i mean, it's awesome to have that to kick start your day, rather than feeling like it's a routine to go to class every morning and have that draining your life spirit. plus, with me taking french class, it's the french culture to always wish someone bonjour all the time ;) it's considered rude not to greet, to anybody. so now, i kinda always want to wish bonjour, but that'd be weird, since it's malaysia :P

not to mention, i now have a magnificent view with a gush of cool, brisk, fresh air (^^) i have really settled myself in this new crashpad of mine. teehee.

perhaps, it'd be nicer if i have some company. i had najwa and adib over today to discuss about out class project. and later, adib and i, together with sarah and mal, went canoeing :) we were planning to cycle but the park was closed after 4.30pm.

so we went to tasik shah alam. i think the place is very nice. it's really good to have that greeneries in the middle of the hustle and bustle of the city. sometimes, people just need to take a time-out and chill for a sec. and exercise ;b

it was fun ;D and the weather was just perfect. everything was just so nice. i had a real good time :)

bumper car

2011-10-05T21:44:00.004+08:00

it's been a while since i blogged. i've just lost the mood to write. then, one night, it came to me. the rush of words flowing, but then i let it out on another blog. the actuarial science club's blog. you'll see the link of it on the sidebar.

i never thought myself as writer, cause my vocabulary is like really small, like really, and i don't read much. i find that it's a proven fact that anybody who reads would write better. that's just my opinion. anyway, the fact that i'm an editor for that blog . . . hah, "editor" ;P i kinda like the sound of that. it's just wow. i could put that into my resume ;) plus, i'm currently involved in programs organized by the club. i'm hoping that that would increase my credibility ;D and open up doors and just a shine a bright light on my future. yeah, i kinda put my faith in all of that because i just don't see myself shining academically.

okay, more of that in next entry. perhaps. i wanted to tell you of a story. my side of the story. the truth side. just saying ;P but really.

a motorcycle crash onto me.

okay, that's an overstatement. trust me when i say it's not as bad as it sounds.

so here's what happen.

i was pulling out of the parking. i reverse-parked my car, so i was going out front first. i saw the incoming motorcycle. so i hit the brakes. my foot is on the brake pedal, so yeah, i was quick to stop my car. i mean, come on, who'd accelerate out of a car park, right ?! the problem was, he didn't see me -.- his vision was elsewhere. who'd ride a motorcycle looking sideways -.- the couple on the side might have distracted him.

i saw him heading straight at me. for the record, i was immobile here okay, and his head was turned with me outside his peripheral vision. the reaction to warn him came a little too late. i thought of moving my palms to the honk and get his attention straight. but i guess, the nerves was never sent through my arms, cause my train of thoughts was going too fast as i wondered if he's gonna be thrown upfront like from a cannonball.

thank god that didn't happen. he looked infront and saw a car but again, late reaction time that he just ran straight and bumped me. it might've been worse. he could've panic and turned harshly causing him to slide and scratch his sides and legs. so let's take a moment and a deep breath that there was no injuries or major car wrecks like some of us are suffering with. there was no dent in my car also, so again, thankful. it was just like playing bumper car. unfortunately, my bumper wasn't as strong.

he didn't say a thing. i'm assuming that he knows that it's his own fault. me, seeing him like a child, just gave him a strict advice :P "lain kali naik motosikal pandang depan" and gave him a warning look. hahahah! the pros of being older!! :D lol. dang, if everyone is as nice as me :P

honestly, i didn't react much. if it were serious, my heart would beat out of my chest and panicked. thus, the fact that i have no reaction, and don't know how to react just proves that it's nothing much, compare to those whose cars have been wrecked due to other people's careless driving (two of my friends in the same week! unbelievably scary!). though, i couldn't say if my mom would agree with me once she sees the front bumper of my car. again, let me remind, nobody got hurt and no car wrecks!

i feel the need to tell my story. and set the record straight. cause news travel, and they don't travel right. cause someone just said to me, "so you hit a motorcycle?" -.- well, here's the first hand story, NO, I DIDN'T. okay.

i'm a pretty decent driver. i have my moments though. teehee. but still, decent, most of the time. i think.

cut off

2011-09-13T23:26:00.007+08:00

sometimes, i feel like i have no friends..

i caught myself thinking as i stare pensively out the window.

okay, ignore my vulnerability. i don't like it when i'm feeling all insecure and vulnerable. and that somehow, made me strong.

i thought of tweeting it, but as i said, i don't really like to show off feeling weak and emo.

but now, i just wanna take the time for once and be honest.

i feel like i've been cut off. cut out. deleted. rejected. but i think i can guess why so.

friendship was just never enough.

i keep a close-knitted group of friends that i'm fond of. so yeah, it's sad when i lose any of them. life was much more brighter, interesting, happier with them around. the fact that we're not as close is heart-wrenching. that i can't just walk up and talk and laugh.. like everybody else. i feel forever alone (in reference to tumblr)

i think there was a comment left on my blog saying that i lead a happy life ? well, i guess it's because i tend not to dwell on the negatives. though, i do feel it, not as often, even on the most trivial matter. i've always said that life is like a roller-coaster and it couldn't be any truer. your happy ending depends on where you stop the story, so just take the sadness as a climax before you get to your happy ending.

the long overdue updates

2011-09-13T22:36:00.003+08:00

it's been exactly two weeks since raya now. i've been meaning to blog about it, about how i . . . 'got' two new cousins. eh, three. no, four! new cousins, like instantaneously ;) three girls, aged 15, 16 and 18, and a guy a year older than me, which i was teased with ;) that was him in my display picture on facebook. we were dared to post that picture up and put it on display. since i've got nothing to lose, heheh, i went along with it (^^) plus, those girls have to put their pictures taken with their same-aged so-called-cousins as well. when i say so-called, i mean, we're not really related by blood :)

so, here's the story. our grandmothers was once neighbours back in sg.tua. and when we moved, our families keep in touch by us visiting her in tampin every year during raya. i met boboy, that guy. i only know him by his nickname then. he was so little. and so insignificant, heheh. but somehow, this year, when i met the others, the girls, they were all so nice. syira was so friendly and lovely to me, and she was 15. i felt young again ;P honestly, at first, i was kinda intimidated by her and her sister, cause they were both very pretty. but as it turns out, it was so easy to click with her ;) very sweet girl, she is. and boboy and i became friends on facebook and now i call him 'along'. heheh :D so that's awesome.

then, later in the weekend, my family and i went on a mini family vacation, i told you about in the previous post. there's nothing much to blog there, except that my dad drag me around the hotel looking for a vantage point for the perfect snapshot of the two rivers meeting. he even rent a boat for it. but in the end, he didn't even use my the shots i took -__- dang, i was just about to brag about being a published photographer. muahahah! :P only in my dreams though, heheh. oh, he needs a picture to use as a magazine cover. that's what the shots are for. so yeah, wouldn't it be awesome if your picture is chosen as a magazine cover. oh well, a girl can always dream.

so, that's about it.

life is boring now

2011-09-06T23:01:00.003+08:00

post-raya depression :( i mean, i have no job now. and my class starts next week. and my brother went back to muadzam :( i miss him already. even our mini family vacay at a 4* hotel, which was very awesome, lasted for only a day and half. i'd say two days, but, it's not exactly. i think about 8 hours were spent on the road to and fro. we went to damai laut, perak, which is a beautiful place! i find it weird that we haven't gone there before. but then, dad said, it was always full every other time when he tried to book a room. on about that, later, in a different post.

tom cruise is so cool

2011-08-28T04:49:00.004+08:00

awww. this is too cute (^^)

tom cruise is such an eye candy. hehee, i just love him in knight and day, which i recently watched, for the second time. i love that movie. and the song played at the end, a song by black eyed peas. i'm searching for the studio version of it but there was nada.

anyway, upon watching knight and day, i just love tom cruise that i've decided to watch mission impossible. all three of them. oh wait, before i saw em', i watched minority report. i just think that tom cruise is just so cool and awesome. i've watched the trailer interview with the vampires and he made much more good looking vampire than brad pitt.

when i watched mission impossible 2. he reminds me so much of kevin zegers, with his long hair. kevin zegers played damian in gossip girl. and also star in the music video, the big bang by rock mafia below.

watch, and tell me what you think.

kevin zegers may not look like tom cruise. but young tom cruise reminds me of him. pause the vid at exactly 3:01 and you might see the resemblance.

horoscope

2011-08-27T23:31:00.008+08:00

" sometimes we glamorize the things we dream of attaining. so much time is spent yearning and wanting and hoping and dreaming, that our goal becomes quite fantastic. there is something you have been hoping to acquire or achieve. your fantasy of it though, may not accurately reflect its reality. in fact, when a chance to get what you want presents itself very soon, you may not recognize it because you have changed it in your imagination. take an opportunity very seriously. it's as wonderful as your fantasy, but it may not look exactly the same. "

the quote above is taken from the daily horoscopes app :P teehee. not that i'm putting my faith in it, but sometimes, it couldn't be further from the truth. i couldn't have said it better myself.

all this big talk about me and love. i think it might just be bull. because when an opportunity present itself, i shy away from it. not recognizing it that it may be love waiting to bloom.

i've watched too many movies (romance), that somehow, i've just might set the bar a little too high, no man could have reach for it. when it didn't happen as if i thought it would happen, i've passed it off. thinking that it's not gonna work out. i sound pessimistic here, though i've always been optimistic at other times about other things. i find myself actually afraid to take the risk. afraid of losing that's on the line. afraid that it might not be worth it. to pursue something with a hint of doubt.

although, now, i think i can see that love may not come in the form of lightning, drug or lust. but it may have disguised itself with comfort and sheer happiness.

according to horoscope compatibility, a scorpio and a pisces is close to being a match made in heaven. wow. so...a pisces eh?

angels cry

2011-08-22T21:52:00.016+08:00

well, it's hard to explain, but i'll try if you let me

i had such a great weekend that coming back to work came as a jolt of weirdness. it's almost shocking. hahah.

ever since i started working at a jewellery store, my shares or "saham" as they would refer it to, has gone up. kinda like the price of gold. hahah. okay, ignore my fail attempt at a lame joke as to not make me sound vain or bragging.

it's just that, earlier today, a friend of mrs. ong who is my boss's wife which kinda make her my boss too, said that it's not always that she find malay girls beautiful, such as myself. actually, mrs. ong and her friends were conversing in mandarin. and as i concentrate on my work, i noticed in my peripheral vision that one of them was looking at me. i continued doing my work carefully, afraid that she would judge me and won't approve me as a worker there. when they're all gone, yvonne's the one who told me that. plus the fact that mrs. ong said that yvonne made a good choice hiring me, as if she was choosing for miss malaysia. hahah. so, point is, for a malay girl like, i am pretty..pretty. though, what i see in the mirror is only average. but i love it nonetheless. yet, i don't have a boyfriend. haih. oh wait, that is my own choosing.

walk down this road all alone

it's no one's fault by my own

it's the path i've chosen to go

- space bound, eminem.

reading back my previous post.. if only i felt like that, but for a boy. scratch that, i want a man. hehe. i see someone i like. i get him. and we'll be happy together. hahaha. if only, eh?

"and that's when i layed my eyes on it *starry eyed* it was like love at first sight"

"i finally found it! :D i stopped looking and searching for any other pair of shoes right then and there.."

"i saw one. it caught my eye. and i just -- can't -- let -- it -- go. or shrug it off. i love it. i really do. so ... i bought it."

seriously. read back the post and change shoes and bag for man. i see one i like. fell in love with it. and i would stop looking for any other. once i get it. wow, how faithful i am.. ;b but truly. i'm still flying solo because i'm still searching for that one pair of shoes or a handbag that i would gladly buy even though it cost me because it's worth it. because i love it. it's the one i want. i wouldn't wanna settle for anything less.

even with foods, i would order the same thing. burger king - mushroom swiss. kfc - cheezy wedges. kluang station - nasi lemak ayam goreng. i wouldn't order anything else.

so, i guess, it just proves that when i fall, i fall hard. and right now.. there's just nothing for me to fall into.

ps. i can't think of a title for this entry so i just named it based on a song that i was currently listening to. by red jumpsuit apparatus. i love that song. and space bound. such good music.

shiny, shiny

2011-08-21T22:34:00.003+08:00

*bumped into someone*

*looks up*

*takes off shade*

*breath taken away*

"wow. beautiful.."

*walk backwards*

aww. *burst bubble* it wasn't as sweet as it sounds though. hahah. i was a bit quiet on twitter in the morning, compared to yesterday, because i went to kl. the place was crowded, multitasking between tweeting and shoving people aside is just.. i don't like it.

i don't like it when people are too absorbed into their phone that they forget there's a whole another world out here. one they're in. that they're completely oblivious to their surroundings. i really don't like it. my brother does it though. *rolled eyes* i only do it when i have a clear surrounding. nothing that would interrupt me. if i were to be interrupted, i would entertain the people in front of me first. i find it rude to ignore those that are in front of you.

okay, this entry has taken a different turn. heheh. i wanted to mention just that. that moment.

i had a good day. although, i was so burnt out at the end of the day.

happy happy joy joy

2011-08-20T21:22:00.001+08:00

hee :D i'm one happy girl. hehehe (^^) fly.fm got to me. they say that the scientist say that you gotta remember the happy things in your life to make you happy all the time, or something like that. so here i am :)

i had such a day. i went to midvalley. i've been wanting to go there and look for my raya shoes, since i can't seem to find any here in ou where i go to work. i scout every inch of the area that i possibly could, from old wing to new wing, with every minute of my lunch break and the result is nada. i was getting worried that i won't find one that i like and love. i wanted to go to midvalley cause i wanted to check out vincci+ where i bought my favourite wedges. i've already checked out charles & keith, aldo, nine west, vincci and several other places in ou. i found some i like but not love, some that i can settle with but then, there's none of my size. so it's kinda frustrating, i went there to vincci+..and still. nil. nothing. and so, we entered metrojaya.

and that's when i layed my eyes on it *starry eyed* actually, i picked up the other pair that i've had my eyes on first. i almost pass it off. but when i try it on. it was like love at first sight. yes, i love shoes. i love dressing up my feet in pretty shoes. to add to that excitement, it's within budget! it was unbelievable. i finally found it! :D i stopped looking and searching for any other pair of shoes right then and there and ask the salesperson to write up the receipt (^^) then, i continued on looking for mom's shoes :D

that paid and done. on to looking for bags. actually, mom's the one who wanted to buy a bag. i decided not to. since i'm gonna shop for one later in december ;) but then, i saw one. it caught my eye. and i just -- can't -- let -- it -- go. or shrug it off. i love it. i really do. so ... i bought it. teehee! i am so on cloud nine!! (^^)

i'm really happy that i got my raya shoes already. and a new handbag. heheh. i can't wait to don it. today had been paradise.

thumbs up if you're the 304th viewer ;)

2011-08-16T21:07:00.005+08:00

i didn't realize i was on top comments until somebody replied to it, and i got a message for it.

COOL! :D

i mean, pfft. it's okay.

hehe :P it's kinda awesome, cause i kinda like wished to be the one whose comment got a lot of thumbs up. hee.

cue big time rush's oh yeah (^^) woot, woot!

psst, tweet tweet.

2011-08-15T23:53:00.003+08:00

i don't mean to brag, but when i checked my number of followers on twitter, it seemed to be double the number of people that i'm following. 44 - 88. 45 - 90.

i like good digits (^^) last week, one lucky day at work, i punched card in and out at the most perfect timing. 10.01. 1.11. 2.11. 6.01 :D

p.s. hee, it's a short post. i can't exactly post this on twitter :P heheh. peace and much love!

my little crush

2011-08-13T21:55:00.006+08:00

my fam and i had iftar with the kuataghs today (^^) and it was fun. for me. hehehe. honestly, i wasn't expecting anything out of it. cause i was just thinking about the matta fair.

all that was in my head was just about my friends and i going to australia and or new zealand to visit our fellow friends there. but all of that are still under planning. we still have no confirmation since our break may not be overlapping so that's a problem :(

anyway, we went to matta fair cause mom and dad wanna check out offers available for a mini family vacation during raya holidays. yes, raya. since that's the only time my brothers and i are on break. it's a bit sad if i'm gonna miss out on the celebration. but family quality time is as important. i'm really glad that my parents stresses on it, having family vacations every year.

on to about the iftar i had at kde (kelab darul ehsan) hehe. i can't believe i have inside jokes with auntie tot and the rest of the gang now. hahah. she knows about my little crush and understood well enough that she told my dad to sit at the same table of my crush (^^) like ohmygosh. awesome much. she and the other ladies then, on a different table, went on gossiping about me and the guy. occasionally looking at me and gives a teasing smile. hahah. unbelievable. at first, it was just me and her and mom and auntie erol but i guess the whole gang is on it too, since datin wati was laughing and said it's ok given the age difference. hahah. those ladies, when put together, man, can they be loud. laughing. i pitied my dad since he's totally cluless about what we're laughing about :P i was like NO! when he asked what it's about. heheh. i kinda empathize the guy as well. i don't think he has any idea about any of this. hahah i hope it will be kept that way though. hee. i like him, i think he's good looking, but nothing more :) i just think it'd be awesome if the kuatagh's offsprings are as close friends as their parents. and perhaps formed our own minor gang. hahah.

but then, on the way back mom let dad in on our little 'thang' (secret). awwh. heheh.

i dreamt..

2011-08-12T11:55:00.001+08:00

"to dream that you are hugging someone, symbolizes your loving and caring nature. You are holding someone or something close to your heart. Alternatively, it may indicate your need to be more affectionate."

and i think that it might be true enough.

ps. don't let me go. never leave me.

ok sebis! lol

2011-08-12T11:54:00.003+08:00

my week has been.. it has it's ups and downs.

it started off well, since i had iftar (a word that i just recently learnt thanks to yasmin, thanks love) last weekend with my family. and i mean, my whole big family (^^) everyone came down to sg. buloh. i know this entry is a bit long overdue, but i lost the mood to write about it back then.

even my aunt from penang came to visit :D and it was so much fun ;) the house was loud with kak dila's booming, glass breaking voice. hehe and merry with laughters of teasing my mak long :P she didn't have the privilege to be fluent in english so when mira, my not-so-little-anymore cousin asked what's wrong with her phone and my mak long answered back "ok sebis" she was like whaaatt? as it turns out, she was actually saying out of service. hahaha :P it was so funny though when my mak lang told the story. i couldn't help but laugh along :D hehehe. then, i found out that my cousin amirul is a big hot shot at his boarding school. respect *hats off* hahah and has had a crush on the same girl since primary school, like whaaaaat. how sweet of him. even my brother akmal didn't have a crush until this year perhaps, since he was all about games and anime before. heheh. haih, how grown up he's become. whoops. i'm not suppose to tell about the crushes since it's a secret :b

ou is starting to play raya songs already. before this, i was like, come on! we're not even halfway there yet. but today, i found myself humming to a song -_- i was very delighted for ramadhan, enjoying every moment i can and try to benefit as much as i possibly could from it, but now i'm chipper for raya. i went from serenity, mellowed by the month of ramadhan, to excitement for the joy that syawal brings.

somehow, i was at peace. and blissed. if that's even a word. it feels nice. i hope it's not just ramadhan though. i hope it will continue..to feel this way. to be this way o:) i guess it's mostly because the demons are locked away. made me realize that i'm actually really weak :(

anyway, i miss the family reunions already. i hope this raya we'll all be together again. and by that i mean, my aunts will have their raya here instead of at their spouses this year. i just thought it'd be really nice after all. and that i didn't miss the family photoshoot if pak ucu is gonna have one. ohmygosssh! (^^) i love my family :)

it's been so longggg since i hung out with my cousins. i wonder how they are..

ps. sleeping late tonight cause i don't work on weekends anymore. yeah! ;D

happy ramadhan

2011-08-03T22:08:00.000+08:00

i had a great kick-start to august :D

last sunday, my dearest bffl (best friends for life, hahah) yasmin came to visit me at work. she just showed up out of nowhere. no texts, no tweets or bbm saying that she was coming. i was doing my work when she just materialized out of thin air. hahah. it was so great seeing her, since i've been meaning to meet up with her for a while. dang, there was a lot to catch up on that one hour of my lunch break wasn't enough. it was always like that when i meet up with her. like non-stop talking and laughters (^^)

and then there was izzat. my other bfff (if you've watched pineapple express, you'd know the meaning, teehee) ya know, i'll always be there for my friends. cue the kim possible theme song -- doesn't matter where, doesn't matter when, i will be there for you till the very end ;) it just hit me, the song. heheh. it's good to know and be appreciated for that. i find it funny the other day when i skyped with him after sahur. he wished me good morning, but i had to wish him good night. cue big time rush's worldwide :P hello, tuck you in every night on the phone woah

july was a bit of a let down...

oh, i got my paycheck today!! :D actually, she gave me cash. and it was loaddds. like ohmygaddd. last time i held this much money in my hand was when i was treasurer for a program. cue donna summer's she works hard for the money. actually, i like kris allen's cover, so we'll go with that, shall we. she works harrrrrrrdd for the money (^^) oh, yes, she certainly did ;) so you better treat her right!

i tell ya, i had such a good mood that monday that i was practically smiling the whole day :)

it was like my life is perfect again.

money is power

2011-08-03T21:23:00.007+08:00

i love big time rush's worldwide. i love how it makes me feel. i have yet to find a guy that would make me feel that way.

i was gonna leave it like that in the post above but i feel a flow of words coming on. heheh.

i was talking to my mom the other day, asking her when she got married to my dad. and it was 22. the reason i asked is .. to set a benchmark ? well, honestly, i wanna look how my mother still looks now when i have my own children. hahah :P everytime, every single time, we go out, people would be mistaken her as my sister. you know how that can scar my self-esteem later in life?! hahaha.

she had me three years later. and all because my late grandfather told her not to get pregnant since she's still studying. dang! otherwise, i could've had dual citizenship now and could've easily fly to the us of a without the hassles of applying for visa :/

i think she asked me why or .. i don't remember, but we got to talking of how when my mom was getting married to my dad, she didn't think about money, or the future or all the important stuff ? :P oh well, they were in love and love is blind.

cause when it comes down to me, i would wanna marry a guy that could take care of me financially. heheh. despite the words from my dad that i'm high-maintaince. it's not about me being a gold-digger or pisau cukur or mata duitan, but.. y'all can say money doesn't buy happiness, but nobody can deny that it ensures one's happiness. chia, my colleague, was kinda always telling me how money is power. you can actually ignore his philosophy since i don't agree with some of it myself, but it's true when he says, if you have kids, what you're gonna buy your babies' diapers with? and his clothes and his food. oh, poor baby :(

he also said, he have seen lots of couples fall apart because of their weak financial standings. let me take a second to thank god that that didn't happen to my parents. -- then again, he lives in a dark world :P if he thinks that i have a halo on my head since i don't go kissing guys and walk hand in hand with one. he thinks all malay girls in the city wears short skirts like that. not where i'm from though :) then again, i've been told that i live in a bubble of euphoria where everyone's nice.

yvonne, my boss, was also advising me to take it slow and to not rush it. even sylvia, my co-worker, waited seven years into the relationship before deciding to settle down this september, a wedding to which i'm invited. yvonne also said not to go for handsome guys. i was puzzled cause that's kinda what i'm looking for :P hahah speaking from her own experience, the guy may still be in love with you, but at the same time, he may not stay faithful when other girls are after him.

but then chia said, when you're in love, everything just fades away, when i told him i'm not gonna be one of those. i may be very logical at this moment, but who knows. love may hit like a lightning bolt. nobody saw it coming. and i will be blinded to everything that i've stood for.

p.s. now playing; anthony neely's sorry that i loved you. i've heard this song too many times at work that i begin to like it. the lyrics caught my ear.

behind the tweets

2011-07-22T22:35:00.005+08:00

too much is on my mind i don't know where to start. i thought of spilling it on twitter but i felt it was unnecessary to flood people's timeline with it. plus, i couldn't put in as little words as twitter would allow. hahah. i'd like to talk to someone, but no one would be interested enough to listen to a person blabbering. not to mention, i feel a bit disconnected since i start working, but that's another story. wait, what i was going to talk about in the first place?

there's too much happening at work. it's not as much as a complaint. just a comment. i suppose, it kept my life from being boring.

"A smile is the best accessory, the best make-up a girl could ever wear. You can take my word for it."

i tweeted. the story behind it being there were guys saying it straight to my face. i ... really don't know what to do in that situation. i do not take pride in it, nor do i deny it. (it didn't even crossed my mind to say thanks as i stood speechless.) so many girls have suffered physically and psychologically from bad comments on their appearances, as being called fat. i was lucky enough not to fall in that category. i mean, i have been called fat, but i took it as a tease (and it was, as oppose to being bullied) and i let it slide. i never consider myself as beautiful either. i'm just okay, i guess. because the guys that were on my radar never really noticed me. so, that made me think i'm not pretty enough. i have my insecurities, but i have enough self-esteem to not worry about it. honestly, i don't worry much about my appearances. but hey, i'm a girl, so i do care. i just don't worry. i eat whatever, whenever i want.

on a side note, ever since i work in ou, i have spent most of my allowances on food. it is ridiculously, irresponsible and careless of me to spend that much money on food. i don't usually eat at home. but there're way too many temptations available. too many things to eat, places to try. but... my dad once said, if it's food, he won't mind. never have :P hehe cause he gave me a fifty for a trip when i was little, and he asked if i've spent it. i said no, since there were costly. like nasi lemak cost RM10 instead of the usually RM2 or RM4. so i told him i didn't eat at all for lunch. and he kinda 'scold' me, for not eating. hahah. so that's when i knew, when it comes to food, it doesn't really matter. everybody's gotta eat ;)

slvia: you tau masak tak?

chia: dia tau makan saja.

hahah true that.

there's more.

i get so self-conscious when i know that i'm under watchful eyes, as i get conscious about my writings when i found out people actually read my blog. but now i'm writing under the impression that you read because you're interested in knowing what's going on. as i can be interested when i blog-walk.

"Phew! Save by the call."

i've never really been approached by a guy before, a total stranger. even if it happens, it only took place in my head. and it's by someone i've eyed. but that never happens. so when i were in real life, i really don't know what to do. i got nervous and be all defensive. then, i just walk away. and never have to be dealt with ever again. but this time, there was nowhere to run. he was there. talking. and i.. then, my boss called, like thank god! his co-worker was calling him too, saying "amboi, amboi.." saved. i wish my coworkers (or just about anybody) would be more protective of me and came to my rescue earlier.

“I don’t know you, but I want you all the more for that.”

things are so much better when it was a mystery, left for the mind to go wild with fantasy. it was tweeted by lina though. she always tweeted the wittiest quote, je l'adore. before the guy came forward, he sent a messenger to give me some sort of a keychain, of a michelin mascot. there's a campaign or fair hosted by michelin in front of the store i work at. before this, there was a korean food fair, which was awesome, cause we could just walk out for a while to get an ice-cream ;D anyway, i thought it was from a different guy, so that was a bit of a let down :b

"Ohhhmygosh. How easily I freak out. Help."

i freak out oh-so-easily. it's a proven fact. you have no idea. i've onced spam adib with pings on the bbm trying to reach her looking for comfort cause i was freaked out. by .. some things. there are some things that i just couldn't deal with. or, don't know how to deal with, most likely. i've once ended a relationship cause i freaked out he was talking about marriage when we're only in it for three months.

"I hate being put on the spot! where I have no control over the situation"

i'm in the relationship because i had no way to say no. so yeah, i hate to be put on the spot. i've broken hearts. and i don't like that fact. that's just why i'm not in a relationship and never will be until i'm ready. i love my independence way much more at the moment. just another side note ;b he asked for my number. and i told him no. but he won't budge. what else was i to do? i really have no experience in this department!! so i gave him my number, with a warning. that i don't reply texts or answer calls. and it's true enough. i don't answer calls even if it's from someone i know, cause i put my phone on vibrate and i would always missed it. i think i only use my phone to tweet and bbm.

"Sylvia's teasing me with my "new boyfriend" ;{ I hate it. If you know me better, I don't mind ONLY when it's with someone I'm into."

fact. plus, to me, i don't approve these things as a joke, for every joke, there may be half truth in it. so, i don't find humour in these kind of jokes. because i'm afraid it may end up hurting people's feelings. no me gusta.

there's actually more.. but that's a whole different story to tell. hahah. i gotta call it a night. it's almost one. i need my sleep. this morning i've woken up at 8:00 am but i've snoozed till it's 9:12. and i gotta be at work at 9:50. it's crazy.

p.s. thank goodness, aa and adib is coming tomorrow. otherwise, i won't know how to get through the day being that he's just outside the store.

good day at work :)

2011-07-14T11:58:00.004+08:00

i've been meaning to write for dayyyyyyys. but since i have a full-time job, working from 10 to 10, i hardly have time for anything else. like seriously, you have no idea. i don't know how i can survive if this is what my future's gonna be like. hopefully not.

i've gained lots of perspective on lots of things since i started working. i have many things to talk about :) but never have time to actually talked about it. hahah. i thought of just tweeting, but then the character limit made it hard for me. so i just saved it.

i had a good day at work today. for one thing, i made a sale! :D thanks to adib, and also a'a. they came to see me at work (^^) and i was the only one today who made any sales. yvonne, my boss, said something about it. good things ;) hehe mostly in mandarin. for which, sometimes, most of the times, made me wish that i speak mandarin. aih, maybe later..

yvonne has been very kind to me. even though, i've had my fair share of mistakes. displayed wrongly, copied wrongly, count wrongly, --yes, i even made a mistake (a lot of mistakes) in counting the stocks. before you say anything, i was sleep deprived. seriously. i went from having 10 hours of sleep to only 4. what else? oh, besides being clumsy, and straight, as in need to tell me what to do everytime.. but there's been less of that as of lately. and, in spite of all that, she offered me to come work for her again. she even asked me to work even after my class starts, but being the fact that i go to uitm shah alam made it difficult for me to work. so she said, just come back again then when you're on break. how awesome is that? because when i was working, i saw a couple of applicants, looking for a full time job and yet she still wants me to work for her. she could have easily hired them and train them, instead of taking me under her wings. i'm not even studying towards the career. it's so off-based. still, she has taught me a lot of useful things :) my co-workers, all chinese, are also very nice to me :)

i've been very blessed. i went looking for a job and i got it straight away. i got to ou, i saw a sign, and the boss of my boss invite me in, interviewed me on the dot and i come to work the next day. actually, the day after that, because i have already had plans, to hang out with my friends. hehe. actually, there was not much interviewing.

izzat was right. the first of everything is usually always the best, and that includes this job. i don't know yet if it's the best, but it sure is worthwhile :) there was lots of other jobs available then, mark&spencer, parkson, but i got this one. everything happens for a reason ;)

the day didn't feel long and i went back home not as restless as always, instead, happy.

work, work, work

2011-07-07T22:29:00.010+08:00

*burp* i just had a big dinner. just for the sake of indulging myself after a long day of work.

today marks the second day of my working experience and i already feel like quitting. for a moment. there was one job that i find it hard and that is working on the displays (of the jewellery) i am totally, completely clueless. frankly, i don't mind at all doing clerical work all day if i have to . it's easy, though boring, but easy, something that i could so totally do. it would be fulfilling if i could attend the customers, but i myself don't know anything about the sales, and gold.. thus, i am of no help. and i'm scared to charge the credit card, cause the window for me to mess that up seems to be wide open. if i could mess up counting the stocks, i could've easily messed up in pressing the buttons. yes, i messed up in counting. eg: 63 becomes 56. haih, i don't know. my head is all messed up. plus all the light and the bling-blings' blinding me.

with the working hours being from 10 to 10, i don't get to have the 12 hours sleep that i usually do anymore. and the change has caused one heavy headache. heavy.

i felt like quitting. but i hate to be a quitter. so i'm gonna just tough it up. at least for a month. at least. i might just go on for the whole two months though, with the high motivation that i have ;P

work = money = purchasing power = shopping = guess handbag, jimmy choo shoes, levi's jeans.. not specifically that though, but you get the point ;)

all in all, the job's not that bad. plus, at noon, it gets kinda boring since there's no customers, so we just stand around idly.

woah, i just checked out bicester village on the net. now that i think about it, half a day is not enough! it won't be enough to check out that place! first, i would estimate a moment to compose myself once there. hihihi ;P then, decide which to go in first. roam, and survey. and decide, which to buy. decision may take a while and it will be long, based on experience. haha. if there's so many things that i want but i can only have one or two, i would want to make my purchase worthwhile. aiyayaya. see what i mean? one day with izzat some more.. maybe, i could just come back, again ;) teehee. one thing's for sure, i need to get to bicester village, and see for myself. and buy something there, as a token of my work efforts :P

in the mean time, just work. and save (^^)

p.s. thank you, nady, for letting me know about bicester village, hehehe

i got a job

2011-07-04T19:02:00.005+08:00

yeay, i have a job! :D oh no, i have a job :( hahah. yeay to the paycheck. no to the working time..

it was quite easy finding a job. if i had known better, i would've went and look for it earlier. i will start working on wednesday, since tmrw i'm going out with me hearties ;) hee. guess that would be the last time i could hang with em' before i start working. waaa! ;(

about the job, it's definitely NOT what i had expected. frankly, i'm a little bit scared. and nervous. oh well, i gotta grow up at some point. haih. can't just laze around unproductively at home anymore. it's time to earn some moneyh! which i SOOOO need. badly. i'mma save it and spend every dime on my coming vacation. i'm so friggin excited weyh! :D which reminds me, i'm like grace in monte carlo, working to earn money for paris ;D

there was kind of a lot of job opportunities actually. heheh i just found out. because before this, i kinda have this impression that it's hard to find a job. i'm definitely going back every semester break now. earn enough cash so that i could go to australia and probably see europe too with me hearties (^^)

but. the opportunity cost is that i couldn't hang out anymore. like going to the movies, having teh tarik, going to tapah (yet again).. i guess i have to sacrifice the little things for the bigger plans.

bored out of my mind

2011-07-04T12:20:00.009+08:00

truth of the matter is i'm complicated

i was asked "are you ok?". honestly, i'm not. but i didn't say that. truthfully, i'm a little depressed. i don't know why. happiness is a choice, and i wish i could be but it seems that i can't smile genuinely nowadays. i'm not up for a little chat. i'm just sad. unhappy?

there was a couple of things that puts a smile on my face. i welcomed july with a little quality time with my two awesome and dearest friends, adib and a'a :) it was fun. we had lots of laugh. there was never a shortage of laughters with them two crazy hearties. we took a walk at one of shah alam's tasik after having teh tarik at tirai ratus, so that was cool. if only we were in new york central park though. that'd be a nicer place to walk at :P it was hottt here in msia. we went there at noon some more.

the next day, i went out with my mom and watched monte carlo. i've got the hots for theo! oh, pierre boulanger have beautiful charming eyes. cause in your eyes i'd like to stay (katy perry, thinking of you) it is such a fairy tale that a texan waiter could impersonate a british heiress, and stay in luxurious suites and win the son of a millionaire's heart. haih. i guess that's what made me depressed. hahah.

nah, actually, i guess because i haven't been out of this cocoon in a week. and the boredom is wearing down on me. staying at home for a few days after going out a couple of time is nice. a little downtime to unwind. but after a week, i am going out of my mind! nothing interests me anymore. not movies nor tv series. usually those two were enough to keep me sane.

this week were suppose to be fun. exciting. a trip to genting highland with a few friends. but that got cancelled. bummer. but la, la, la whatever. so now, i'm really depressed because it means another boring week at home. i lead a sad life.

but thank god, for my lovelies here in bsd! nady and yas is finally free.

i accompanied nady to alisa's home today. she didn't know the way. alisa's mom was so nice. she was telling us of how excited alisa was to leave :P didn't shed a single tear. hahah. she even showed us videos of alisa, and her obsession with her sneakers. the thing she misses most. and her bsd friends as well (the thing she misses). her mom said it's prolly cause we grew up together and i guess, it's true enough. we had lots of fun time and memories. schools, riding bikes, basketball, lunch at groupbase. ah, good times, good times (^^)

well, i'm meeting some of them again. soon. as soon as tmrw. so that ought to cheer me up :) see, i'm smiling already.

super family fun day

2011-06-27T00:43:00.006+08:00

happiness don't last. only because the sad things have to come to ... too. because without sadness, how would you know what happiness feel like ? ;) things comes in two. yin and yang, i suppose. i never knew what that means though :P hehe.

what i'm trying to say here is that, i just knew if i catch a glimpse of happiness and fly to cloud nine, somehow, i know i'm gonna fall at one point one way or another. i thought it was just me, but.. it's just that i believe life is like a roller-coaster for me. though, right now, i'm on a boring ride.

well, not exactly, because today, my family and i had a super fun day ;D hehe. we went to karaoke. dad sang most of the time -__-" i didn't mind. much. he doesn't usually sing. so it's good to know that he's having a good time as well, after the burden of paying for everything :P teehee. then, the movies. super 8. to say that it was an awesome movie is an understatement. it was a great movie throughout. so is arthur, a movie i've just watched. i've watched lots of movies this week. after the movies, we went straight to bowling. i thought i could've won. i got strike, spare, strike, nine.. i started off awesome. then, i lost it. dad won. as always. after that, we had waffles at gelare. the waffles were so delicious, there were the best in town, and the service is good too that my dad left some tips, that the waiter thought my dad accidentally left his money. hahaha poor that guy, running chasing after us.

just as we're about to head home, there's an open audition going on for modelling, photography and fashion designing. i thought i'd try out. we have to cat-walk and pose. only because.. i thought i should show em' how it's done :P hahaha! my family were so awesome supporting me. dad were saying that those girls don't have what it takes to be a model. the way they walk..it was bad. hahaha. but when it was my turn, he said i got it :P lol. it was okay. just that i seemed nervous. well, duh! people were watching, even from above. i was okay when there wasn't much crowd. it was nearly deserted before! anyway, i did it not because i have dreams to be a model. i thought i would do it for myself. boost my self-confidence :) i've been running low on it for a while. aren't i awesome ;) hahah

my family is so much fun :)

i never quite fully understand the importance of family quality time.. prolly cause i didn't have to, since my parents have always stressed on it, like going on family vacations every chance we get (^^) and movie nights.. and going out on the weekends ;)

i feel lifted, with comfort :)

june

2011-06-27T00:21:00.005+08:00

wow. i have been neglecting this blog for far too long now. i just don't feel like writing. i've just been .. down these days. i feel so .. uninspired. even though i have lots to tell you ... people who're reading this :) hee. like for one thing, i climbed mount kinabalu. yet again. for a second attempt to the low's peak. and guess what ? i made it ;D so yeah, that's something to cheer about. my life achievement. hahah. then, we went to the beach and that was tons of fun (^^) but that was like .. the first week of june :) such a great start to the month. i still hold the good memories close to my heart and cherish it. i drink sabah tea now. because when i was there, in sabah, at kundasang, the weather was cool, and when i sip into the hot cup of tea served... it was bliss.

a lot of things have passed after that. may was a great month. really great. june was too. kinda. july is looking kinda bright ;)

my current playlist :

beauty in the world - macy gray ;)

alligator sky - owl city (^^)

i wished for you - jasmine ash <3

be my only - fm radio (sweet song, like marry me, train)

body parts - plain white t's

okay - swirl 360

hee :) nice songs, they are.

team atlantasite

2011-05-18T22:58:00.005+08:00

oh, wow, look at the time.. it's 11 already ?? time flew by so fast when you're occupied. when i didn't have class during the day, it felt like ages :S i could just go on and on watching tv series.. but now. woah.

anyway, today's class was great :) i could see a future as a marketer. hahah. adib was great. she did a lot of work. she was so keyed up that she was prepared 110% for the small class presentation today. and for that, the lecturer gives us a thumbs up. more than that, she applauded for our effort. but credits goes to adib, and the others, emma and su and aa and naj. who did all the research, the googling.. while i went out with my fam. i just wanted to say thanks to adib who made me look good :P hehe. while i was up there presenting her notes. which i almost disregard before class. hehe. i hope i could keep up and contribute more to the team later on.

on a side note. we named our team atlantasite because it's based on a gem stone, a money stone ;) (as opposed to a love stone or lucky or health) which promotes successful thinking. well, what do you know ? it's already working to our advantage ;) looking forward to working with you guys more. hehe it was fun.

let em' know

2011-05-17T22:33:00.011+08:00

today's a good day :) had breakfast with the fam at kluang station, ou. watched a movie with mom, something borrowed. did a little shopping after that. i'd look hot as a corporate woman :P helped out a lady, so that's one good deed for the day. hehe. had lunch at about 4pm :)

i thought something borrowed was a good movie :) i quite enjoyed it. it was sad. it was funny. it was sweet. i was giggling over a scene with my mom and the two women sitted next to me. hahah, so that was fun. it was always good to know and have someone enjoying the movie much like i am :D having a dull company is like dragging a party pooper with you ;) teehee.

the thing about the movie, it's not one of those typical romance flicks. they're both obviously in love with each other but doesn't come out and admit it. bear with me here. the guy is a coward, and urgh, i hate cowards. you're a guy, make that first bold move. you know she's into you too.. and girl, gosh, if you like someone, let him know! otherwise you're the one ended up alone! which is why when i like someone, i kinda tell people :P like certain people. for some reason, i thought i can trust them, like not to tell anyone. hah, but of course, that got the rumors goin' and soon enough, many people knows. i guess, it was kinda embarassing. but whatevs. the point is, it's out there. see how well that goes. what if the guy heard the rumors and as it turns out, he likes you too. boom! he asked you out. you win. he wins. in my case, the guy doesn't like me back. so that's cool. i could move on. and find another guy to fall for.

in the movie though, the girl never thought the guy was into her. i don't blame her. i mean, if i was her, i'd think the same way. the guy was a ten, and the girl's .. not, like me.. and the guy thought the girl just wanna be friends since she kinda pushed him away. so that's stupid. like i said, if you like someone, come right out and say it. before it's too late. forget rejection. at least rejection is way better than waiting around, wondering endlessly, hoping that things would change, thinking that you lost who might be the love of your life without giving up a fight.

just when i thought they all should quit sneaking around and just come out, there's a scene which made me understand why they can't. when put on the spot, being with her best friend.. but for six years!!? they held feelings with each other and when one of them was about to get married, they finally had the guts of being honest to themselves?! yeah, well, like i said.. and i stand by the quote i once saw on the web, and my best friend, nady, once said to me as well,

if you like someone, make it obvious!! :P

as for me? hrm.. well, i'm not in love.. not right now (unless you count characters i see on tv, haha). we'll just see :)

bak pepatah melayu, kalau jodoh, tak ke mana :P kan?

oh, gosh, i have a class tomorrow :( haih.

ooh, i almost forgot about ethan. ethan is the girl's best friend, as they've always been since childhood. and i just think that it's so awesome to have that platonic relationship. he does kinda like (like) her, but it's so awesome that he was still there for her, telling her and just keep pushing her to take that chance and get the guy, which i was on board for.

rachel: why wouldn't you marry me? *feeling old and alone

ethan: because i like you too much.

how's your day? :)

2011-05-16T18:52:00.010+08:00

so.. i had my first class today. i took marketing (mkt 404) for the short semester. it was all good. i was dying of boredom already. it's only been like two weeks of semester break, and i'm suffocating staying in my room all day long. so, having a class to go to, just something to do, was okay. plus, the class was great. i'm psyched :D hee. the lecturer seems to be great. i like her dedication.

although, i'm kinda worried that i'm gonna miss 9 hours worth of class. i'd be gone for sabah. thank goodness adib is too. hee, so i won't be the only one. i hope i could catch up and all. it's only a reading subject, and i aced my general insurance before, which is a reading subject. it wasn't that hard. but from today's class, i get the impression that it's gonna be hard. like history. i hate history. my worst subject ever. but if she relates what we're learning and how we could apply it to our daily life (or future daily life) then, it shouldn't be too hard to understand :)

like what i've learned (or taught to kids at school during the ART) you never know how hard, or easy, it is going to be until you've gone through it yourself. so. i'm ready to take on the challenge :) hee. this should be fun.

now you know how bored i am. i was so looking forward for semester's break, but now i'm ready to go back -__-"

p.s. can we go shopping for my corporate attire? :D hee! it is compulsory for the presentation near the end of the semester..

my dad.. :)

2011-05-12T22:25:00.000+08:00

it puts a smile on my face :) the fact that dad took the time to take me breakfast at the curve. actually, mom wanted to have breakfast with him, and i mentioned yesterday that i wanted to go for pancakes. hehe. so, there we were, all the way to the curve, instead of a drive down the road to the closest mamak, or other food joints like paparich for breakfast. my father, such a dedicated man to his family :)

also the man that keeps on giving. the other day, my mom told me of the day when he bought me this new laptop. truth is, i didn't expect it any sooner since mom was totally against it. but the guy at the shop, they're kinda tight, was asking him for some business cause business were running slow. and so he did. as my dad went back to pick up the laptop after installations and all, there were many people at the shop. so, in conclusion, my dad was like a lucky charm. hahah. but my point of the story, if it wasn't for friend in need, and my dad.. i wouldn't have benefited. hehe.

also, during the pc fair, we bumped into a guy that recognized my dad. i think my dad had helped him a lot, so he gave us a discount on something..i don't remember what we're buying. he also hit on me, like lol. the funny thing was, if he was handsome i would've taken up on his offer, since dad already knew him ;P hahah. but eww. off topic.

last weekend, my dad paid for my fees, get my laptop installed with softwares, and have my driving license renewed. i just wanted to say thanks. i don't know how i ever could repay him. maybe someday, i hope.. i love you, dad.

i thought for mother's day, i'd make a post dedicated for her, but that didn't happen. instead i ended up with this. hehe. sorry, mama. just know i love you too.

dance the night away

2011-05-12T22:00:00.000+08:00

today has been fun. it was just me at home. so i turned the speaker up and .. jammed ;) hahah sing out loud. danced around in my room. teehee.

my body clock is completely broken. some nights i dozed off late, other nights i tossed and turned till i woke up the next day, some other times, i never went to sleep at all. sometimes i wonder if i'm insomniac.

the night before, i never went to sleep. it's not that i didn't want to. i was tired of tossing and turning and never finding comfort, so i took my laptop and watched some tv series (the o.c.) the next day, i caught up with my needed sleep in the evening. and it goes on till dusk, at which point, i didn't bother to get out of bed at all. the night passed, and so did morning. i've developed a relationship with my bed. it's so hard to leave him, specially now when i have nothing to leave him for.

i'm so friggin bored these days. i have absolutely nothing to do. one day of having absolutely nothing to do may be fun (hence, the lazy song) but a week!? i'd die of suffocating in boredom. my best friends are busy for me to hang out with. so i let go by dancing. it was fun. i'd never felt so alive. hahah. i guess, i've got all the rest i needed from the 17 hours of sleep i just had.

so, that was my day :)

p.s. i've decided that i want to dance for my birthday. re-live the night on the cruise perhaps. hehe ;)

boyfriend

2011-05-04T00:23:00.008+08:00

I'll give you my song

These words to you

Sing you what I feel

My soul is true

I don't have the world

Can't give it to you, girl

But all that I can do

Is give this song to you

this is a good song :)

and i like boyfriend too, by big time rush. i love it from the first time i heard it. i put it on replay! i never put my songs on replay, cause i'm afraid i'll get bored out of it fast. but this one, i just can't stop listening to it. i was like, you can so totally be my boyfriend with this song dedicated to me ;D hahah. music is so the best way to get to me.

leon, or andre, the character he play in the show victorious made it look so easy in song-writing. even glee, with that one episode where everyone gets a chance to write an original song to sing at regionals. they were all so good. and now andre.. i can't think of anything. haha i come up with a total blank. not that i've actually give it a real shot though.

my first entry since my finals are over :) i've been meaning to write and catch up, but i was too lazy. i just wanna put it out there, that ... i would love song dedications or something like that. heheh. ooh. one more i like, is the song pretend from the movie bandslam ;)

he had me at the first strum. i love acoustics. i could just go on but then, this would turn into a long post. so, till next time. looking forward to seeing my friends. my room is suffocating me already. i'm bored!! i wanna go out and travel and go on adventures :( i'm 20 and i still can't do anything i want. i couldn't afford to. how sad is that ?

split desires

2011-04-17T21:37:00.004+08:00

mama just walked in into my room. asked me what i'm doing tomorrow. well, i HAVE to study. and she said, if i'm gonna be home, she wants to go out. waaaa!! hahah. i would so totally love that, buttt... awwh, i have to study. i suck in statistics, and god forbids i repeat (T_T)

it's this friday, aina!! when are you gonna get that into your head?!

chill, aina, chill. it's only two weeks. and before you know it. may will come. and in that time, you can party all night long *figuratively speaking ;P and you can go and hang out or watch tv series all day. hahah.

till then.. STUDY!!

haih, i can't stay at home. it feels as if i'm on holidays. and mama never pushes me, like she used to when i'm in school -__-" hehe

wake me up when april ends

2011-04-16T22:37:00.006+08:00

today felt like friday to me. it's as if tomorrow's gonna be saturday and i would still have time to relax before i have to start pushing myself to study. it's prolly cause i had muet today. haih. this is so draining out all of my energy. i am seriously looking forward to may. heck, i'm in the mood for may already. teehee. if you can't tell, i am very over-the-top happy that my final paper falls on the 30th of april. hahah. so may is going to be a whole new fun, free, chillax month :D hahahah

i had muet again today. reading, writing, listening. writing was a bummer. the topic was simple. friendship is the most valuable thing in life. i could've spend hours writing about it, but unfortunately, i had only one and a half. at first i didn't know how to start. well, i never knew how to start. but given time, i could have come up with something good. ideas were flowing slowly, but they were all over the place. i didn't have enough time to organize it, so i just started to pen it all down right away. i don't think it was good enough though. haih. the power of optimism, aina..

i've been meaning to write something. the other night, i cried. as i lay in bed, before i went to sleep, my thoughts went astray and tears started to fall down like a leaking pipe, sobbing slowly to sleep. i wouldn't know what tira must be feeling but i could empathize, and the thought was devastating. then again, when you think about it, it's qada and qadar. and you're just gonna have to learn to live with it, or without.. all of us is going to go one day. although, i never really thought of it occuring to me. but then, i thought, just because that, you can't be afraid to live. when it's time, it's time. it may be easier said than done, i know.. gah, i'm blabbing.

see what i mean? thoughts all over the place..

i was skyping with izzat and he showed me this. and the pipe just bursted. i've actually read about it before on star newspaper, but still, the story is just horrible. i love my mother. the other day, when i got home, after sleeping over at aa's for two nights, i hugged her tight and took my mother out for baskin robin's pink day :') hehe. i would always give my mother a hug anyway, and i would be happy to spend the day with her at a shopping mall, so it's not just because of what's happened. hehe. but you know, these kind of things really do open one's eyes and just hit you with a pang of reality and appreciation.

p.s. i love you, ma. although, i may not show it, but i really do appreciate you. i'm sorry for all the fits, it was never intentional.

ah, shoot. cue the overwhelming glassy-eyed..

a review on the semester..

2011-04-11T21:37:00.007+08:00

waaaaa, i wanna study, but dad asked to help out with his work. dang, now how could i say no to that? hehe i don't know if it's just me being the good daughter that i am or being the lazy student that i am looking for an excuse to skip studying. hehe :P

but truthfully speaking, i wanna study. i wanna aim for a four flat this time (if that's even possible for me), since i have only four subjects this semester, one of which i believe i can score if the format of the final paper stays the same. that is regression analysis. don't bother trying to understand what that is, cause i don't too. all i know are the formulas that seems to always be applied to the very repetitve questions. teehee. so like i said, i did the past year papers, and if it continues to be like that, then.. yeah, maybe :) aamin.

accounting and financial maths.. hrm. i don't know what to say. i guess, i could have hope. but just when i thought i've understood, then BOOM. wrrrooooonnnggg answer! and that is very frustrating. but i never quit trying. but you know, after while, it gets tiring and stressful and i would begin to lose all hope.

statistics.. i have no hope at all. i keep telling myself that i still have time and i would get it in soon. but somehow, the lessons never really stuck. statistics has always been my worst subject. i can't seem to absord it well.

haih. if only there's somebody who's kind enough to give me a one-on-one.. i could so totally get it then. teehee.

i wish somebody could tutor me on statistics.

like how i wished to tutor high school students who think that math is hard.

summer job

2011-04-11T21:24:00.004+08:00

ibu-ibu ~ bapak-bapak ~ siapa yang ~ punya anak ~ okay, stop with the wali song :P siapa yang punya anak perlu kan math tutor :D teehee. cause i'm offering. i'm looking for a part-time job. preferably in bsd, so that i could come home from class during the intersessions i'm gonna be taking and just go teach one-on-one at one's houses :D

it seems so ideal for me, the job. cause i would actually love to teach, especially math (add math or mod math) and i think i'm pretty good at it and have some experience :D haha omg, i am so selling myself out here. when i told my mom and dad about this, dad suggested to come work for him. there's actually lots of things to do at the office, but working with him wouldn't be working at all. haha. i did that before after spm and it wasn't productive :P hahah. although, it has lots of perks. there's tv, free lunch since it'll be on dad ;P and i could laze around. so like i said, it's not really working environment for me. and mom said to help her out with the sales booth, and i straight out said no. it's boring and hot and i don't like entertaining customers :P hahaha honestly speaking.

so, tutoring sounds perfect for me. the money, the time, the work.. it's all so very ideal :D hee. i just thought of it.

homaigosh, aina, finals aren't even over yet and you're already planning for your semester's break? haha

oh my choc!

2011-04-09T19:41:00.005+08:00

today, i had the whole day to myself. teehee. mom and dad went out hiking. and i went out to see my friends (^^)

i went to subang with the intention to study. but it was noon, and we went out for lunch. after that, it was about time for the second session. lol :P i had plans to see yas and izzat. anyway, i got to see ayu! my old housemate. i'm so happy to see her. it's been a while. i've missed her. the times we lived together in alamanda. awwh, good ol' times :) gosh, she's so huggable!! my teddy bear ;) teehee. i couldn't stop hugging her! hehe. with my heels on, she's so small! like my little sister that i never had :) hee. there was putri too :) she's so pretty.

it was like 3:36 pm when i head to damansara. usually it'd take more than half and hour (yes, admittedly) to reach my home.. oh, but then again, i was usually from shah alam. anyway, i promised yas to meet at 4. and i reached her home at exactly 3:58 ;) hehe. yeah, i was kinda proud of myself. don't worry, i drove carefully, as careful as i can be.. but seriously, i should get a better car lah. like audi tt or vw gti, with turbo powered engine ;P lol. that's the kind for me. hahah. seriously though :P

i had such a good time with yas and izzat. we were talking non-stop ;D hee. we went to wondermilk, cause izzat wanted to go there. and i wanna try it too hearing the rep that they get. and yeah, it was good. i love the chocolate cupcakes :D like, oh my choc! ;D hee. then, we head to ou, cause yas wanted to buy something for her mom, and i need to get my laptop's hard disk separated to C and D.. so..

the car then felt so quite since i've sent them back home. i've missed them already. hehe. yas bought me a scarf since she saw my last post with a picture of me wearing one. how thoughtful! i wanted more scarfs to wear, but i'm afraid to buy any cause i'm scared it'd turn out to be a waste when i don't wear it. but since she bought it, so i'm gonna have to find an outfit that's gonna go with it. hehe. it's very lovely (^^) thank you so much, darling!!

she also said some things about pursuing her degree at uitm. if so, and if she's placed at shah alam, that would be oh-so-awesome!! and pursuing her masters oversea, and we could go there together :) that would be very lovely (^^) i've talked about this with aa too, about pursuing master's degree together. i could so imagine living with her.. hahah.

aa said that when they were eating (i wasn't there, but adib was) at this one restaurant, and she saw these three old ladies, wearing blue, gold and pink. and she thought that that's gonna be us someday ;) you betcha, aa! hehe they said i was the pink one, cause she was exactly like me, becomes totally quite when eating. hahah. and there was and old guy, and they said that he's gonna be syim. lol.

let it remain a mystery

2011-04-08T23:05:00.001+08:00

tomorrow's daddy's birthday, and he's celebrating by climbing Gunung Rajah, Bentong, Pahang with the usual crowd, the kuatagh climbers ;) his alumni. too bad that i can't be there with him, since finals are in about two weeks *chills* so .. i gotta study. got a cgpa to maintain *more chills* the thought of not passing beyond that is .. brr, scarry! i kinda got my eyes set on the chancellor's award..but i don't know.. i try not to put much hope into that. high hopes are set for bigger disappointments.

anyway, dad will be with his friends. it's gonna be awesome, cause they're kinda fun crowd :) awh, i feel bad for missing it. but then again, ammar is not going too, he has classes, so if i go, i have no company :P hehe

dad, please, please, please, do take care of yourself!! i love you always. xoxo

mom, you too. all the best, good luck! just keep on moving, keep climbing, keep the faith, baby yeahh ;) love you!

invincible

2011-04-08T22:48:00.006+08:00

nobody cares about me as much as you did..

i've been wanting to say something for awhile, but i keep brushing it off, cause .. i just didn't wanna stir anything up.

before we get to that, my week has been a hell of a ride. i was soooo happy (as in my previous post), then i was sad, then i was back to contentment, then sad, and now back to being okay. hahah.

wednesday, i had muet speaking test. i thought it went quite okay. i had syim and pah in my group, which was great :) hehe unlike aa, cause she said, there's a guy and a girl in her group who were totally leading the discussion giving her little chance to talk. so .. hopefully, i did okay *fingers crossed* (figuratively speaking)

thursday, i had a test. everyone was here and there studying, and i was just sitting there by myself. thank god, the subject wasn't hard to catch on, so i just referred to the pyq's with aa's answer as the answer scheme. but .. i've never felt so invincible in my entire life. i didn't have the mood to even talk. i was feeling very low. i didn't talk or chat with anyone. and no one even bothered to ask if i was doing okay. yeah, it's sad. i keep telling myself the whole time to just hold myself together and to just stop being pathetically emo.

then, i got a text from yas, and that made me feel better :) it was great to know that i do still have her, eventhough we do not always keep in touch. she's the sweetest. my bff, my ffl and whatever else they call it (^^) teehee. and izzat as well. and amad. i'm looking forward to seeing them! it was the sunlight shining on my darkest hour.

p.s. one thing about me.. i don't talk to people unless they come up and talk to me first. that's just how i am. i'm newton's third law. my actions are based on the reactions to your action.

thank you, allah

2011-04-02T19:43:00.008+08:00

oh my god! dad brought me back something, and i love it soooo much!!

syukur, syukur, syukurrr alhamdullillah. thank you, allah. thanks, dad. and thanks mom, for letting dad buy it for me. hahah.

i thought of just tweeting it, but the characters limit make it impossible for me not to flood your timeline.

happy face :P hahah!

forgive my vanity. it's just that i know what it's like to feel fat or ugly or not pretty enough. i've been there, having the anchor to your self-esteem. but these days, i feel good about myself, and that's good. hehe. after hearing dad's friends commenting about how good i am (given my results..and pursuing acturial science.. yada yada yada), and seeing myself through their eyes.. and a'a who was pretty impressed (given how active i was, and still am) i'm not that bad. hehehe :P i mean, seriously, it's important to believe in yourself. and i do, now. i'm applying for scholarships, and i imagined how the interview would go.. with a confidence boost (no nervousness), i could so totally nailed it :P haih..

i learnt how to wear the hijab from Atira Aidil :) thanks, sweetheart.

i'm feeling oh so grateful tonight. dad took us out for a family dinner. it was lovely. one of the best nights.. <3 one thing after another, dad just kept on giving. oh how i wish i could give him something, or things, in return someday. he's just so amazing.

he didn't smile cause "xnk nmpk over sgt" -__-"

i always doa everytime after solat to lighten up my heart to make it easier for me to learn, and alhamdullillah, so far so good.. and to murah kan rezeki, shower me and my family with wealth, or prosperous life, not necessarily in terms of luxury, just enough to live the good life :) teehee. and, i do think that Allah does listen to me, syukur alhamdullillah.

i hope Allah would give Atira the strength to go through what she's going through now :'( if i were .. the thought of it alone is just unbearable (T_T)

p.s. i am so loving maher zain :) hehe. i mean, i admire him, and i'm loving his music. i can't believe he's worked on kat deluna's whine up !? i'm just saying that i looked up to him, idolized him, or whatever it is called. he's a favourite now :) hee

do not enter! :P

2011-03-31T18:35:00.005+08:00

yeay! my little brother's home from muadzam shah :D i love having him around. and he brings back a lil some'in some'in ;D baskin robin's jamoca almond fudge :D yeah! actually, it was for mom and dad, but dad asked to share with us. teehee. thanks. with him home, we're gonna eat out for family dinner saturday night. wee (^^)

anyway, last night was the premiere of dilarang masuk. shiqin's in it, and she's the leading actress for the movie, and she got tickets for us, housemates and a few more friends :) actually, the whole class was invited as well, but she couldn't get enough tickets for the others..

i had so much fun :D teehee. earlier, i told myself to always keep cool and calm and collected, but as i got there, i just couldn't help myself :P seeing the red carpet, the press, the hype :D hehehe. they were all so excited, and their excitement rubbed off on me :P najwa.. expecially pah! hahaha. she's so funny. she even kinda followed isma hanum to the toilet! just to get a picture with her. it was funny. woops, i hope that statement wouldn't go into the media :x it was fun and i was overly excited, i guess, because i'm with my friends, and we're all so very excited for our friend cum housemate cum classmate :) hehe.

we took lots of pictures. we got pictures with vanida imran and her husband. with isma hanum. with sharifah amani. she's so skinny and her face is flawless! i'm so green with envy. and of course with shiqin :) she's so pretty, and i love the dress. i saw it at pyramid the day before with adib, and my oh my if only if i had a thing to go to with a dress like that. hahaha :P isma hanum's dress were oh-so-pretty too. when jue saw shiqin, she said, (note that i paraphrased) wow, shiqin looks so pretty, like an artist, eh wait, she is an artist! LOL. and everyone took out their phone to post about it on twitter and on FB :P it was hilarious. we were loud :P like justin bieber's fans perhaps. hahah. that's how excited we were.

the movie touched on illegal organ trafficking. the premiere is kinda a charity, and they have a counter to take a pledge from the people to donate their organ to stop illegal organ trafficking. we were talking about whether or not to donate our organ. and i thought, i don't wanna donate my organ, but i'd be happy to donate my fats :P haha especially to those with anorexia.

go catch that movie! :D shiqin was very good in it. i kept wanting to laugh seeing her face in lagenda budak setan, but not this time. hehe :P that is if you're smart enough to put the pieces together though. some people, or most, didn't arrive to the conclusion that shiqin, or tia (the character) had a heart surgery. it may be a B-movie (in hollywood standard) but it's still good. it was very, very thrilling. i enjoyed it. and bad was very funny. i love that. farisha is so in love with that guy :P muniff isa, cause he's like so cute ;P

i survived orbing

2011-03-17T22:46:00.006+08:00

your eyes whispered, "have we met?"

i'm wonder-struck blushing all the way home

i'll spend forever wondering if you knew

i was enchanted to meet you

the lingering question kept me up

2 am, who do you love?

i wonder till i'm wide awake

please don't be in love with someone else

whoever you are..

read my tweets and you'll see i went into the mini orb and water ball ;) and also loving the song enchanted, taylor swift.

it was fun, and tiring. at first, i was so afraid to go into the mini orb. i mean, rolling in a ball isn't exactly fun. i was thinking Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man's Chest. i was afraid that i'll get trampled all over, since i went in with aa :P hehe. or worse, get my bones broken, like neck and spine. see what i mean? the thought of it is scary. but then, it wasn't like that at all! :D teehee. i felt like a hamster. lol. so that's what hamster must've felt like. no wonder they love running on that circle thingy. it's kinda fun ;D hee! but i'm afraid if i fall flat on my back and they turn the ball around. eek! :{ but the guy was smart and kind enough to hold the ball straight till i get back on my feet :D

then, straight on to water ball :D it was harder to control the water ball than the mini orb. emma kept tumbling down. lol :P but being inside that water ball was kinda awesome. lying down in that thing was like laying on a water bed, not that i've been on a water bed, but i assumed it'd feel like that, and it is awesome. hehe.

i had a blast with aa and her little siblings, and adib and her little sisters and syim and mad :) although, seeing aa and her lil fam and adib with hers made me miss mine. hehe. nonetheless, i had a good time. it was a great day :)

life..

2011-03-14T11:58:00.004+08:00

as you know, i went to climb gunung angsi last saturday. it was .. at first, i thought it was okay. it was like a walk in the park. then, when it got to the hard part .. when the real climb begins, we even have to pull ourselves up a rock with a rope! like whoa. i wondered to myself.. why on earth am i doing this?? it's not even that fun.

i did a lot of thinking while walking. there's lots of life lessons that could be learn from mount climbing. life is like climbing a mountain. don't ever give up, and you'll reach the top. and yeah, you gotta have to work hard and not laze around to get to the top. i was thinking to myself, man oh man .. cause i've been wondering what am i gonna do with my life. my lecturer raised some issues within me, and with my friends flying overseas..which gives me the impression of the bright future they have ahead of them. it's like they've got it all figured it out. me? well, i go wherever it takes me. but my lecturer said, that's not good enough. and with the pace i'm going, how on earth am i gonna reach the top by 30, like my lecturer said.. i'm a lil screwed-up.

my dad's friend were 'wow'ed (i'm too tired i can't think of another word for it) by me when i said i took up a degree on actuarial science. he knows i got 'great' results since i went on the fast track, from diploma to degree, and he was telling my father, such smart daughter he has. like say whaaaaat. my lecturer was only telling me last friday how i shouldn't be proud of it if i didn't know these stuffs she was talking about. and i'm not even the slightest bit gloating or having a parade about it at all, cause i totally don't think of myself that way, smart and intelligent, cause i'm not.

btw, to those who matters, check out the actuarial science club's blog ;) i've linked it on the sidebar. show some support :) hee.

keep on climbing

2011-03-11T20:53:00.004+08:00

don't ask me why i'm doing this, i'm still asking myself the same thing, i'm climbing gunung angsi in ulu bendul tomorrow. hahah. i'm actually still debating internally whether or not i should go, but i figured i need the training, since i'm going for mt. kinabalu for the second time this june.

last week, i went to broga hills with my fam, plus adib and aa, and adib and aa were fast. i mean, their pace are real fast. i was going slow and steady. i was like a turtle when compared to them, who're like horses. it was hard for me to keep up with them. i was panting when i get to them, who were so kind to wait for me when i got left to far behind. i feel bad for slowing them down. but the good thing was, i just kept on going, non-stop (okay, i stopped for half-a-min to catch a few deep breaths a couple of times), to catch up with them (i don't wanna be left hiking alone, my fam were behind us). i consider that good, cause ... i don't know. i just think that it's good to just keep on going. otherwise, i'd lose the momentum. plus, i reached the top faster and were so glad that the hike was over. it was good to have them tagged along. they kinda pushed me, indirectly.

taking a step back and looking at me, i'm quite .. active, and sporty. hahah :P not. look at me, i'm climbing mountains. like whoa.. hahah :P not to mention, every single day to get to class, i'd have to climb flights and flights and flights and flights of stairs, like SERIOUSLY. i had to climb, what adib and naj refer to as "tangga kejayaan", the steps to succes, which is like a hundred steps up the hill. then, another 50 steps at the faculty, plus another two flights to the second floor. my legs are getting muscular! (T_T) i want long lean legs. i like to think i'm not fat anymore from all these what i consider exercises. hahaha! plus, laps of swimming once a few week. teehee! as if.. i want a flat pancake. no muffin top.

wonder woman

2011-03-03T22:33:00.014+08:00

i have an issue that's been lingering on my mind, but i'm too afraid to voiced it out. i'm afraid i don't handle rejections well. i've always hated debate, never been good at it. i don't like to fight. teehee. i don't know how i am supposed to express my concern with the chance of being heard and considered. cause i think what i'm asking.. they wouldn't like it. they wouldn't like me. that's a paranoia i've hovered.

highlight of the day :D i got a free makeup trial from mac. hee! when i looked at the mirror, after the makeup artist were done, i'm like .. wowww.. nice. i've never really like to put on makeups actually, i mean, i do wear sometimes, but not recently though. i thought makeups are overrated. makeups were suppose to enhanced facial features and not wear it like a mask, like what i had seen on tv. i've onced tweeted about these people in a drama on tv3, or was it astro prima. the amount of makeup that those women who played as datins in the drama are like OMG, so friggin thick. it looked fake like plastics. but what i see in the mirror, my oh my, was it pretty :P hahaha! the brush on her hand works like a magic wand!

i love the color palette she used on me. the blusher, the lipstick, i loved it :) i forgot to ask the lip color she used. i'd love to have that. doh! *simpson-like* it just occured to me. should've taken the before picture.. you would've seen how different and pale i was before. hehe.

it's been a while since i've updated my blog. notice that week that i've posted like everyday? :) i thought of updating more, post up those drafts i wrote (which is kinda a whole lot, i have much to shout about, like the swimming, the cooking -- moving on..), but i don't feel like it. guess i'd only love to blog through my laptop, but it's down right now. how i wish i could have that new hp laptop i saw :P haha! not a chance in the world, aina! i've been asking for a lot these days. the iPod adapter, a new laptop, facial.. gosh! if i were a rich girl, na nana nana nana nana nana nana nanaa

i haven't been shopping for awhile :(

bound to you

2011-02-19T18:55:00.008+08:00

mom asked me to get some pisang goreng. my new-wedded cousin and a few relatives are coming over. at first, i was reluctant. but then, it meant, i could belt out to bound to you, christina aguilera, burlesque ost ;D teehee.

dad went to work with my baby boo. so i'm left to drive around with B. yeayah! i miss that thang. it's been so long that i'm not used to it anymore. it's so heavy!

since dad took my car, i asked him to check out an iPod adapter for that thang. he said he already found it. but.. he's not installing it right away :( awwh, man. mom suggested that for now, i could live with cd players. but.. but.. the thing is, my mood varies. the songs that i wanna hear changes from time to time, so one cd might not have the songs that i wanna listen to at the time. it's just not that practical for me. my iPod is .. my one true love :P

i gotta save up if i ever wanna play my music on my baby. and singggg. sing it from the heart. sing it till you're nuts. sing it for the world (^^)

show me how you burlesque

2011-02-18T23:58:00.003+08:00

i've always find myself so elated after watching glee :D i wish to sing and dance like in glee club as well. for fun. it'd bring so much joy. from now on, sing, my chemical romance, would be the anthem of my life. haha :P

i've watched burlesque :D i admire ali's determination and talent. she's so astounding. and she keeps pushing it to the top, it's impressive and admirable. and for her to just crash at a male friends'.. wow, she's lucky. haha. aish, that was so sweet (^^) i saw diana agron's name in the opening of the movie, and i keep waiting for her appearance. and as it turns out, she was the fiance and only has a few seconds of screen time. awh, bummer. besides that, the movie was great. it has everything that i love. singing, dancing, romance, humor ;D

spoilers!

2011-02-17T22:06:00.007+08:00

i've watched sanctum with my girlfriends today :) it was thrilling and frightening. it was scary. at one scene, i shrieked. i was kinda noisy in the cinema. it was so intense. i hate jude, and carl, and victoria. then again, if i were in their sitchs, i'd prolly freaked out as well like carl and jude. maybe not like jude, she's .. urgh. she wasn't fit. she shouldn't have gone. and she should've known better not to panic. i cried when they had to kill, out of mercy :'( gosh, trapped underwater has always been my worst underlying fear. when i was a child, i once was afraid to go through a tunnel in a swimming pool at a water park cause i was afraid that bars would come down and the water would keep pouring in and i would drown. *chills* i have a very active imagination. anyway, i think it was a good and enjoyable movie :) exactly my kinda movie.

adam: you grew up to be smarter than me.

emma: yeah. sometimes, my neck gets sore.

adam: why?

emma: because my brain is so big.

yesternight, i had went to see no strings attached :D it was very funny! i kept going on about it to adib and aa, but they don't understand. they haven't seen the movie, and i wish that they did. hahaha. it's hilarious! for the most part. and sweet :) so very sweet. note: the following may contain SPOILERS. who has ever done a period mix? aww.

emma: i'm gonna start peeing with the door open. it's going to get weird.

i wanna be in love like that. but i'm so afraid..

after that, adib, aa and i, we went to ou. i tasted the-i've-heard-and-seen-on-tumblr-so-much-about macaroons for the first time. it was ehh. i prefer ikea meatballs. haha :P i don't know how that's relevant, but that's the truth. haha. we came home a little too late that we skipped studying and went straight to bed, and snooze. i didn't get much sleep though, and it wasn't because adib and aa has taken a lot of space in my bed :P but it was just one of those nights, where i turned into an insomniac and couldn't fall asleep. so i watched a couple episodes of bones, that i missed so much, and only after that, that i was too tired to go on, i fell asleep right away.

worst time for a flat batt

2011-02-16T18:36:00.007+08:00

you can't believe what i just went through.

you wanna know something. i don't know about you guys, but i will go crazy when i'm alone in the car. haha. i'm in the mood of being totally honest with myself.

anyway, today, after hanging out with the usual crowd, had some "teh tarik", i went home. but.. here's the kick. i took the wrong turn. and it lead me to another wrong turn. it was one wrong turn after another. but, hey, the good thing was, at least i recognize now the way back i took from pyramid to shah alam. hahaha!

it was so friggin stupid and ridiculous. i screamed at myself. i literally yelled that high-pitched girl-call-for-help yell in the car. hahah. cars are sound-proof, right? :{ i cried at my own idiocy. i sang out loud. i'd always sing out loud, though, this time, to distract myself from my own stupidity. and fill the time stuck in trufffff... i was like "why, whyyyyy.. (*like in the song forget you, cee lo green) why is this happening to me (T_T)"

the worst part was, i was totally alone. my battery died. i can't bbm adib. i can' t tweet about it. it sucks!! and i threw a tantrum when that realization hit. drama queen, much. hahah :P like i said, cuckkoo.

it wasn't exactly the worse day ever. it was just plain stupid, and .. it was so totally ridiculous for me to have taken one wrong turn after another. i could've use the usual way i'd always took, but noo... i had to try. and that's not entirely a bad thing. i was in a hurry. i wanted to get home before it gets dark. it was just bad timing for me to explore the crooks and adjacent roads existed connecting shah alam and bandar sri damansara, and subang. i guess, in other words, you could've said, i was just pissed cause things didn't go my way, cause i thought i had it all figured out, and it'd turn out easy, but a 20 mins ride just became an hour and a half -__-"

p.s. you can't really trust the sign boards, can you? yeah, it'll take you to where you're heading. eventually..

best of me

2011-02-15T22:54:00.007+08:00

i could be the best version of me if i live with aa. amad's all the way in melbourne, australia, living with a friend of his, just the two of em'. that could simply be me and aa, furthering our studies, pursuing a master's degree ;P haha.

since tuesday's a public holiday, i decided to spent the day catching up on my studies. i've been so laid back in class. i missed the train, and i see no point in running after something you can't catch, so i chilled back. i find less stress that way, when you're surrounded with smarty-pants.

so i slept over at amalina's, aka aa. i achieved nothing at home. i'd be watching bones, and tend to eat a lot. here, i have to earn my donuts! hahaha :P we walked to plaza masalam for donuts. it's better than what jules did, took a bite and throw it in the bin (cougar town reference). i love to walk. it's nice. but then again, it depends on the settings and weather. we were lucky cause it didn't rain :)

i'm beginning to see the picture now. fac, sta.. qmt. yeay :) with more brush-ups, i would prolly get it. i just hope i get there in time.

the addict

2011-02-14T19:41:00.005+08:00

yeup, i'm an addict. i'm addicted to tv series. glee, vampire diaries, gossip girl, bones, how i met your mother..and more. i found joy in watching them. but unfortunately, the joy is only temporary and don't last. except for the show cougar town though, cause adib and aa watched em' too and that'd be our inside joke ;D eg, the love circle ;) when the show is over, i'll be back to dull, boredom city. i guess, i love em' so much cause the show, or even movies, are so much better than the reality i'm living. teehee. especially bones. gosh, i'm loving the undeniable chemistry between brennan and booth, and i'm loving the fact that brennan has booth, as a partner, as a friend.. booth, an ex-sniper, and fbi, who can protect her. she was once almost got killed by bad guys cause they don't want her to solve the case, but since she's always with booth most of the time, she's not afraid of all and was to determined to solve the case. her friends were more worried about her life. okayyy, i've gotten wayyy off topic. teehee.

i got this from tumblr.

SCORPIO - The Addict

EXTREMELY adorable. Loves to joke. Very Good sense of humor. Will try almost anything once. Loves to be pampered. Energetic. Predictable. GREAT kisser. Always get what they want.. Attractive. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Loves to party but at times to the extreme. Loves the smell and feel of money and is good at making it but just as good at spending it! Very protective over loved ones. HARD workers. Can be a good friend but if is disrespected by a friend, the friendship will end. Romantic. Caring..

with documentary ;P :

SCORPIO - The Addict

EXTREMELY adorable (aww, shucks). Loves to joke (i love to chill). Very Good sense of humor. (i find it better to just laugh it off). Will try almost anything once (living life to the fullest). Loves to be pampered (who doesn't? that''s how much i love me). Energetic. Predictable (yeah, i agree with this too. especially when it comes to food. i'd always have the usuals). GREAT kisser (haha, i don't know about that). Always get what they want.. (not always..okay, yeah, maybe) Attractive (thanks. ps, i don't wanna brag, but the other day, a little girl said i'm pretty. aww, that made my day. hehe). Loves being in long relationships (haven't been in one though). Talkative (so, not. only with people i'm comfortable with, maybe). Loves to party (haha, totally! ah, the good ol' days on the cruise..) but at times to the extreme (nahh). Loves the smell and feel of money (ooh la la) and is good at making it but just as good at spending it! (yeahhh, i am. haha) Very protective over loved ones (very. protective). HARD workers (really?). Can be a good friend but if is disrespected by a friend, the friendship will end (i keep it simple like that). Romantic. Caring..

metaphors

2011-02-13T00:22:00.004+08:00

and it all started when i uttered those words. although, it was never my intention to start something and brought up an interest that wasn't even there before. i shouldn't pursue it. at least not now. i have dreams and goals that i think i should achieve first. i'm just gonna see where it'll take me. if it's meant to be, it will be, in time. for now, enjoy the ride ;)

adib and i were speaking in metaphors, and after a while it was getting hard to understand. hahaha :P

i am currently on a high :P my temporary high. it's kinda a funny thing really. all the signs are pointing towards it, and drew a picture that was unexpected. and i couldn't help but just smile for it :) i really don't know what's going on, what has taken place, and i wish to know. but i'm happy to go along with the current situation.

i am currently just at the beginning of season 3 of bones, and i am loving the relationship between brennan and booth ;D the unspoken, in denial, chemistry between the two (^^)

out and about

2011-02-12T19:16:00.004+08:00

you know what. today, i'm like out and about. driving around with my new boo ;P hahaha. i'm beginning to love it really. i am now one with it. i didn't expect this, since it was kind of considered a downgrade to me ;P haha but i really don't mind. i'm totally okay with it, except the fact that i feel like it'll skid if it went pass 120. but besides that, it's so easy to enjoy the ride and drive in chillax mode, instead of fast mode ;P it'd be so perfect if i could play my ipod in it :( and tune to my perfect playlist for the drive.

i found a way to get to subang without going through tolls :D yeay! okay, actually, i didn't found it. my friend was kind enough to take me through it. he was on the way to shah alam anyway. too bad he didn't show me the way back :( dang. and he's leaving tomorrow.. awwh :( back to the road, i think i could save on gas as well :) teehee. the drive was great. like i said, chillax mode. highways tend to tempt me into going as fast as i can :P haha i couldn't resist the fast lane.

it occurred to me. i should get a job that requires me to go to places. drive around, or even fly ;P i think i'd love that, to live with it, tho maybe not the flying part. it'll be interesting. everyday's a different day. it won't be boring. i don't want a routined job :(

as i reached home, dad called to bring the camera to kota damansara. they're having pre-wedding reception. everybody is there, except the newly-weds. my aunt from penang came down to kl. when i got to kd, i find my family wasn't even there yet. so when i got there, my other family members didn't recognize me. haha. i mean, i went up the stairs and i bumped into my aunt, and she has to take a second look to know that it's me. i guess it was weird for me to show up on my own. they'd usually see my mom and dad first, then me. they just didn't expect to see me.

i feel free on my own with my boo :) and the taste of freedom is so sweet. life is good.

appreciative

2011-02-11T15:52:00.002+08:00

here i am, having lunch. halfway through, i burped. i would've stopped, but i thought, it'd be such a waste. it'd be a waste of food, and money. i'm beginning to really appreciate the value of money, not that i didn't before ;b but now i really felt it. it's hard to shake off. with the obligations and responsibilities, i can't really treat my allowance like a disposable income anymore. i realized, i'm really afraid of ending up broke. i would always have safety nets. these days, i find myself having to be careful to make sure that it's always there when i need it. although, i had lunch with my mom, so it's not really my money, but i guess, now i know what they must have felt, when i keep asking for things. teehee. i don't know how they do it, but i will try my best to not take things for granted and abused my privilege. note, i said i'll try my best. i'm not promising anything ;P haha. but sometimes, you just gotta ask, ya know ;) if you're lucky or blessed, you'll get it. if not, what the hey. at least, i tried. haha.

"rule of money - never use your own." - cory baxter, that's so raven ;)

one more thing that i'm grateful for is my new boo. i still can't find the perfect reference for it, and i was listening to a song and i heard boo, so i thought.. teehee. anyway. it has been really great. i specially love the automatic locking system. it'll automatically lock when i hit the brakes, and automatically unlock when i turn off the engine. hee :D if only it has the keyless system as well. haha. the only thing it lacks is an ipod adapter :(

the everyday life

2011-02-10T21:19:00.005+08:00

i had a good day. today was like the everyday's i would love to live. free, around and about. it wasn't like any other day. it was like i'm on vacation, like those days i had traveling. everyday's a brand new day, going places, doing something new, eating extraordinary food such as unagi. fuhh, that unagi i had was totally ... great.

anyway, i went out with my dear beloved wonderful friends. hehe. we went to klcc. the plan was to have a "photoshoot" ;D haha take pictures, like lots of pictures. kinda like what we did in langkawi ;) and syimir wants to do a lil shopping with adib. and let me tell ya, syimir was like adib's barbie doll. hahaha. she keeps dressing him up, asking him to wear this and that. unfortunately, all the good clothes were wayyyy out of budget. hahaha. otherwise, he'd be the hottest guy on campus. lol. okay, i may have just exaggerate a little. haha :P

back to my first point. it'd be great to just live ... freely. only, i can't afford it. when i got back, it was good to wind down watching bones ;D hee. that show is really good. i am so loving it.

btw, the fact that it's thursday made it all better. i am certainly looking forward to the coming five months break.

haih, that's what i get for having a little too long break. a single week made the difference. i may have been bitten with the holiday bug during the chinese new year break for god knows how many time. teehee.

gotta get my head back in the game. gotta catch up. gotta come through yet again like i always do back when i was pursuing a diploma. gotta make my mama and dad proud. gotta do this for me, for myself.

update:

when i look back at the pictures, it was all so lovely. it just shows ... a picture worth a thousand words, but somehow i can't coin the perfect word to describe it. all i know, it brings me happiness looking back at the pictures :) it just show how much good time i had. the posed, the candids..the smiles specially. teehee.

fly

2011-02-04T21:04:00.006+08:00

my friends back home are all flying :( okay, not all. but three of them are, all in this month. and one more later in august. and on the occasion, alisa held a kenduri at her home, which is lovely btw. she's living in my family's dream home. mama should've seen it. i think she'd loved it. the interior design specially. her room was like ... wow. she has a bench-like stool by the window, and it was like taylor swift's .. be it, teardrops of my guitar or you belong with me. hahaa. cause she has the view of the house behind. and she requested her mother of the bench, as to .. go with the mood, like i said, teardrops on my guitar ;P hehe. and her bed.. which glows underneath. by that, i meant, lights underneath her bed. i would so love to have that. i'm not exactly afraid of the dark, but it'd be awesome to have the light shine, or glow, to where we step, and not on my face when i'm trying to sleep. it was lovely :) and the view from the top floor.. fuhh. the gym.. wow.

i've drifted from my point. hehe. what i'm trying to say is that i'm envious of them. well.. it was my dream to fly. to study oversea, like my parents did. to have that kind of experience.. to have that kind of memories.

but what the hey, what i have now is not all bad. it's just that i wish to ... even so, i don't know how i would survive on my own. hehe :) so not really complaining or whining here.

i just want to travel, and see the world. i read the newspapers, star, under the travelling section.. there's a lot of things that i'm actually missing. there's a whole new picture out there, some that i never knew exist. machu picchu in south america, venice.. devil's pool.

just. my. luck.

2011-02-03T00:54:00.002+08:00

great. that's just my luck.

i've been trying to get myself a scholarship, but apparently i just don't have the luck. i found the perfect scholar! i was so friggin excited. i was willing to drop everything that i was doing and get everything done and send it right away. i filled in the forms, ready to photocopy every documents. if it was in the day, i'd run and grab the car keys and hit to the nearest shop to get my pictures taken, passport size. but it's night time, and it's the chinese new year holiday. so just friggin great. but i can be patient. just when i thought i had everything working out for me. i was even prepared for the interview. i had high hopes ;)

then, boom! i need a testimony letter from the university on extracurricular activities. fudge! to add some more, they want certified transcripts. i mean, sure, i can get that, but not in time. the closing date is this sunday. dang! dang, dang, dang. just my luck.

last year or so, i had found the perfect scholar as well, but it was a little too late for me. the application was already closed by the time i found out. such a bummer. this is like my second chance, and i screwed it up, yet again. it was my own fault, i know, for not being aware and keep up to dates. urgh! i hate myself :( if i had checked it out earlier, i could've applied for it in time. what'd i tell ya.

2011-02-02T00:59:00.002+08:00

a void

2011-02-01T23:22:00.005+08:00

note: you might read it out of context if you don't know what i'm talking about.

as i was waiting for my maggie goreng (my fam and i went out for supper.) i got to thinking. and i just got so sad thinking about it. so sad as if there's a hole in my chest, a void. i almost felt like crying, while listening to sad songs. haha. i love broken, by secondhand serenade. i onced got teared up listening to that song intently.

yesterday, i went to adib's for a study session with her and aa. and we got to talking as well. mind you, we're so not gossiping. haha. (i like to think) we're better than that :P hehe. i was just talking to them about some things, about life. we're not living together anymore. we just see each other at class. otherwise, back then, we'd just sit together and talk and laugh in free time, in the evening usually :)

and i realized. things were simple back then. and i appreciate and thankful for everything. but now it's just so complicated, and it scares me. i just wanna run away from it. i guess i need to learn as i'm growing up, i know. but still.. it's just may be a little too much for me to handle. it never came up before, so..

i guess i just can't live up to your expectations.

that's prolly the main reason why i love the movie head over heels so much. it wasn't just about getting weak in the knees thing. it's that other thing as well, that revolves around the girl, and i just kept thinking how wonderful it is :) and how i wish it could be that easy (and fast) for me too.

p.s. i guess that's why you keep dreaming of me, adib :P

expenses

2011-01-26T20:23:00.006+08:00

yeay! i finally got to wear that bright cheery pink thang ;D teehee. i gave a lot of thought of wearing that on B's key, but i don't think dad would approve. he wouldn't like it. haha. so.. now that i have my own, i shall use it on .. it :D hee.

i got that cars-key-chain a long, long, long time ago. long before i got my license. long before i even got to apply for my driver's license! dad was such a tease giving it to me as a gift. somehow, it was something to look forward to though. and i can't believe that day has finally come. i never thought it would come. i was already happy, too happy, and attached in fact, with B. hehe.

if i had gone to tapah, i'd have never got it. at least, maybe, later, far in the future, and not now.

the downside, i have expenses now, and i'm not even working yet. gosh, the thought of being a responsible adult is terrifying. life is unfair. haih. so many things to pay for.. haha :P i can't just simply shop anymm..not that i'm an impulsive shopper (but today..fuhh). the fact that i wouldn't have enough money then scares the isht out of me. so better plan out, take note, keep track on my allowance from now. aiyayaiyayaii.

comfortable

2011-01-21T22:05:00.006+08:00

Laurie: I know I can be annoying. Laurie Keller has a big personality. Seriously, I'm like.. oh, I don't know. What is the word?

Jules: Erm, I'm guessing, wabaam?

Laurie: Yeah. WA-BAAMM! Jules, I get in people's personal space. I'm loud, and not just my voice..my clothes, my make-up, my jewellery. I mean, seriously, this necklace could be a belt-buckle.

I was ridiculous. Hah. But, what the hell. I am who I am, right :)

Jules: That's why I love you, because you're so comfortable in your own skin.

Laurie: Well, come on. You are too. Remember the naked dance upstairs? Ah-woo~

Jules: Worse four seconds of my life. I wish I could be more comfortable with who i am. I wish I could be more like you.

Laurie: Awwh.

Jules: Is that the first time anyone has ever said that to you?

Laurie: Yeah.

Jules: I love you.

i just love laurie. she's so awesome, truly.

i've recently watched the latest episode of cougar town. and it occurred to me.

they say i've changed. i kinda think so too. but i think it's a good change. i mean, it's not that bad :P i used to be so reserved (that i was becoming anti-social), but now i'm dancing to the rhythm of stereo love ;P ever since i've got back from the road tour, i think i've been .. somewhat louder. i don't know.. i'm just.. comfortable, i guess, in my own skin. that, and i'm.. happy :) hehe. (i remembered feeling somewhat closer to depression, or was it just boredom for lack of excitement, so i can tell how happiness felt like) and i don't really care what they say. if they really are my friends, they'll accept me.

like a quote i picked out from twitter, if you can't accept me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best :P haha i don't know if that's applicable in this case though. haha. whatevs.

this has taken me back to my high school years in form 2.. i was so annoying back then. i was considered the most annoying in class. i sorta think that phase is coming up again.

ART 6

2011-01-17T12:54:00.003+08:00

last friday, i went on another road tour ;D like i've said before, it's a semi-annualy program organized by the club. you've prolly read it all here ;) this is my third time now. never missed a single one yet since the first time :D hee. and now i think i can be considered experienced. haha. it's really awesome.

this time, we went to langkawi. ooh, and not to forget, kuala perlis. hee. i only remember langkawi. haha :P

according to the agenda, we were supposed to go to tapah that friday, that we could visit our friends there, my batch at least, but it was cancelled. it was such a bummer. i've read on twitter that they were ready to welcome us. i was looking forward to seeing my friends in tapah :( it was pretty dissapointing.

the next day, another program cancelled. but that was a major good news to me though :D the mrsm we're suppose to held the event at cancelled on us, so we're .. free! :D so it was like a free trip to langkawi. hee. we were on our own, moving in smaller groups. me, with my batch of course, we move in a pack. there were nine of us. rented two cars, and went to the beach. there, we took lot's of pictures (^^) after we've had enough good times, we went to the waterfall at telaga tujuh. another hundred shots taken ;P us and the camera, we're inseparables. haha just aim the camera, and the pack will move on point :P lol. we were planning to go for the cable car rides, but .. the time just ain't enough. so to the seven wells, we headed. it was literally a roud tour ;) some of the guys even bought a pair of bermuda pants, there and then, at the beach. haha. and a pair of flip flops.

at telaga tujuh, zaid even had his shirt off and ready to jump in. i was green with envy. haha. the water looked so very tempting. it would be very nice to take a dip on that hot day.

we hanged out. had lots of laughs. inside jokes. it was all so very nice :) i truly had a good time. you never knew how much that moment meant until it becomes a memory. i cherished every second as it passed :) there will be none much like this.

before we know it, it was time to go. we had to go if we were gonna make in time, not to include shopping for chocolates. we've got calls already saying we had to be at the jetty. as we almost got there, syim took a turn that leads to a chocolate shop. he wasn't gonna take the turn if it wasn't for mad and his doubts on the road to the jetty ;P so thank god! haha. we saw adib's sister, so the more reason to get down. hehe. otherwise, we'd have to shop at the jetty.

it was such a pressure shopping for chocolates. we were in a rush. i believe there's a reason behind it. it was not a bad thing that we only had 10 minutes, cause in that 10 minutes i could spend more than 100, what would've happen if we had more time O_o haha but hey, that 100 includes a friend of mine's orders. i didn't spend that much. like i said, i didn't have the time. if i did.. fuhh. haha :P but then, we got taxed -_-"

on sunday, we're back on track, back on business. i was partnered with acap, whom i've heard from aa. they're mnrb scholars. envy much -_- hehe. anyway, it wasn't bad. it was great :) the kids said i was pretty cool (note: i paraphrased, hehe) and acap too. but i still think the first time i went, mrsm kepala batas, the best ;D it was truly memorable. this time, abg. tun had them give feedbacks, which is how i know about them saying us pretty cool ;P he had the kids wrote it all on a piece of paper. then, on the bus, we read it, as if there were raya cards and fanmails. haha!

it was a long trip, and we had fun on the bus as well. played games, gossips :P

it was all good :)

on that first night, en. arwin held a massive werewolf game. hahah. it was so very funny. you might read it on my twitter (^^) and the dinner we had before that :)

let's hope that i got to go again on the next road tour (^^) teehee. i mean, come on, some of em' have been on all six arts. i wanna be one of the constants too ;P hee. pretty please :)

cool as a camel

2011-01-08T17:13:00.008+08:00

i've never felt so humiliated.

there's this guy who is so freaky nice. he asked me to move my car for safety reasons. and so i did. but when i just had my butt landed on the chair in the hall for another session, an announcement was made, reciting my plate number, to move my car. apparently, i'm blocking the path for the lecturer's entrance. he's the one who suggested me to park there, and not long after that, called me out on the speaker to move my car. like what on earth ?!! i'm like .. i could just explode. seriously. like urgh! adib was there. thanks to her, i could walk with my head up.

i just needed to get out of there fast, so i stepped on it. i can so totally understand if you say don't drive when you're emotional :P haha.

in the car, i burst. i can't explain it exactly. but the waterworks just came on, eventhough i didn't really cued it. i think i just needed to. it was just so embarrasing.

i'm not the only one who thought that that was just mean, plain mean. i mean, he saw me. he knew me. he knew that it was my car. he knew it was me who parked there. i just walked in. and i sat at the last row by the end. why can't he just come to me, tap on my shoulder and ask nicely to move my car? he just had to use the mic.

when i walked back, with a tissue in hand and watery eyes, i thought, don't smile, looked pissed :P haha cause i am and i want them to know. but then, the guy caught up with me and apologized. thank god. good. he said it was an honest mistake and misunderstanding, that he didn't knew.. fine then. that's good enough to me. abg.tun was there too which only made me nicer :) hehe.

other than that, i had a good time ;D najwa and adib were L their A O (laughing their ar.. off) off of their seats next to me. haha i was in the middle, they were rolling to me. hahaha. it was a good day :) and we fled for a while, cause we're cool like that, like a camel ;P just to find a better place to change (our clothes) since the bathroom would be totally packed like sardines. haha. the program wasn't bad, not bad at all. good times :)

p.s. abg.tun is the best senior ever and we're so very lucky to have him :)

p.p.s. it's okay if you don't understand the saying cool like a camel. it's an inside joke ;) but applicable to all :P haha

resolutions

2010-12-29T01:35:00.003+08:00

i was thinking about my new year's resolutions, and i just can't seem to think of one. and when i was trying to sleep, it occurred to me.

people around me are getting thinner, while i'm getting fatter. it can't be happening! so, i guess, my new year's resolution is to stop loving food. i can't just eat cause i'm bored, or cause i'm happy, or sad. i'll only eat when i'm really, really, really, hungry. hrm, i get the feeling that it won't last :P haha cause i always end up in a situation where i have to finish my food, even though i know i should stop already, cause i feel bad letting it go to waste. teehee.

that, and.. score more in my studies.

speaking of resolutions, i don't remember what my resolutions were for this year :P thus, i can't say whether i've fulfilled it or not :P haha.

twenty-one

2010-12-25T00:31:00.004+08:00

it's been a week since my vacation :( i really had a blast. another more week, and i'm back to class. how boring. this is not how i want my life to be. then again, i can't afford the wishful lifestyle. thus, the path i'm going down now, that hopefully will get me to where i want to be.

speaking of going down a road, i'm not finishing my diploma like i planned to. my life has taken a turn, and i'm going on a fast track, to degree. it was hard for me to decide, but when i think about it, this may be good for me too.

i planned to finish my diploma and continue my degree oversea, but i heard, from their experience, that the scholarship i need to go oversea is hard to come by and may even be unavailable. that totally crush my dream :'( of all the dreams i have, this i hope to live, but it seems impossible now :( sobsob. there's no way my dad's gonna send me without a scholarship. i thought that maintaining the dean's list, and if that so, plus the chancellor's award, that would open up some doors for me, but a little evil birdie told me that competitions are tough, and i don't think myself as the best among the best, (more like the least best among the best), so more downers for me.

but! but, i just applied recently, manually, as in, in person. the application should be submitted online and they'll process it. so i don't know if my application would come through.

i really had a hard time thinking about this. i've planned the next .. say, three years of my life, and the sudden change took a major hit since i've never considered it before. but after a while, a few days, i'm warming up to it.

the bright side, i'll finish my degree at 21 which i consider, at a very young age ;D teehee. then, i don't know. i think i'm .. free! :D woohoo. haha :P maybe take that job on board, which i surveyed, and i have none of the qualifications! :O it's tough. for example, even to be a babysitter, or a youth staff, you'd have to have a bachelors degree in education, recreation or related field, and 3-5 years of experience working with children ages 3-17. three to five years! i wanted to join the cruise staff, to perform. completion of high school, check. able to contribute special talent or skills to an entertainment team, mmmaybe :P hehe. have two years emcee or professional entertainment experience, awwh maaann! :( haha. maybe i'll have better luck at universal studio? :P hehee.

i want a fun job. i want to travel. i want my life to be like i'm on vacation every day :P teehee. hear that. i want, i want, i want.. haih. i want lots of things..

USS Enterprise

2010-12-18T23:36:00.006+08:00

since we're in singapore, we went to the universal studio singapore, or uss for short. i can't help but to add enterprise after uss. haha. it's a knee jerk reflex ;P yeah, i'm a fan of star trek, the one with chris pine in it, and sylar, or his real name is zachary quinto. i only know his as sylar in heroes. hehe.

anyway, i think i'm becoming a wimp. i used to love roller coaster rides, but now i've chickened out. i've become really afraid of falling. i mean, dropping. i guess, after that one ride in japan, i've kinda had enough. you've read it here, about the ride. somehow, i've mustered the courage to ride on this one roller coaster. it's kinda like the one in .. i forgot where .. but it's known to me as the scooby-doo ride, which was fun. it's an indoor roller-coaster that goes around in the dark, which is kinda perfect to me, cause i can't see how it's gonna go, and it adds the thrill. the scooby-doo ride was really memorable, it was the most fun ;D i think the ride was in the movie world theme park in gold coast, australia. anyway, the egyption ride is like that too, it goes around in the dark. but then, when i saw the warning that says it has dropping, i'm beginning to think twice. but i went on anyway. i told myself that it'd only last a mini-second, that it's gonna be fun like the scooby-doo ride.

when i got off, i don't know what to think. they snapped a picture. the coaster came to a stop. the mummy is talking to us, telling us something about a book. it's part of the ride. i didn't pay any attention to it ;P hehe. i was scared. in front of me, i can see the dark abyss. i know that it's gonna fall, it's gonna drop. i kinda screamed like OOHHH NOOO! noo, it's gonna drop. NOO! :P i braced myself, as braced as i could be, and just screamed. as if i could stop it, make the fear go away. i couldn't. the coaster begins to move toward, aaaaanddd drops. that's when they snapped the picture. my brother, akmal, he posed for the cam, except the cam was on his right, but he posed to the left. while he checked himself out on the screen, not so proud that he missed the cam, i looked so friggin ugly. haha. mouth opened wide, eyes closed. fear was written all over my face. i was scared shitless :P that's when i realized, i'm a wimp. otherwise, i'd love to ride the battle of the human and clon roller-coaster. looks kinda fun and thrilling. but not anymore..

other noteworthy attraction is steven spielbergs' light, camera, action, where they show you how action film was shot. in this case, you'd experience a hurricane hitting new york city. it was awesome. it was kinda real. with good directing videography and editing or special effects perhaps, it would look real in the movie. when the action sequence was over, the pieces went back to the original state which is so cool, plus the sound of steven spielberg's voice, directing, it was as if we were really at the movie set. we really did kinda experience it. the setting took place in a boat house which we're in btw. out the window, there's new york city, and the ocean. i know it's just a screen but it looked so real to me, as if the new york city was really there. we're sitting on a platform when it's all going down, not sitting, and watched it all happened right before our eyes, the boat sank, the walls tore off, and a ship barged in! the ship was pretty shocking, and realistic enough. the platform we're standing on even moved. it kinda dropped a little, like when a huge thing fell on it. that was shocking too. so, all in all, awesome! :D hehe

the attractions closed at seven. there was no parade.. thought there'd be some kind of parade or something. hehe. so we went to the shops to get some souvenirs. i got myself a shirt :D hehe. i couldn't let it go. haha. there was also trophys! there's too much, and it's too much to actually purchase it, so my mom and i, we just took pictures :P haha. there's awards for best mom, best dad, best sister, best cousin, even best singer in the world :P i also got a potion bottle. it's awesome. actually, when we were in line (for almost an hour) for only-a-minute-ride, i saw this girl drinking out of a potion bottle and it looked cool, so i asked my dad if we could a buy a drink, actually buy the bottle that comes filled with the drink ;D hehe.

it was already night time, and it was time to go home :) i truly had a blast vacation.

keep a weather eye on the horizon

2010-12-18T23:30:00.005+08:00

Thursday, 16th Dec 2010:

note: the last entry was beyond long, so i'll post about the day here in this new entry.

today, the ship isn't porting anywhere. so in other words, we're at sea :)

my mom woke us up super early to catch the sunrise. we sat on the chair on the open deck (deck 10 specifically, teehee) facing the horizon. i almost slept through in the chair while waiting. the wind was so nice, it blew me away to slumberland. the sky was getting brighter, but there was no big, round, yellow star :( how dissapointing. i thought it was gonna be like in potc: at world's end ;P but it was cloudy. so there was no sun at all. haha.

after lunch, we catch another show at the theater. an acrobatic plus magic show. it was okay. there was a guy performing magic tricks, a russian dance, and a lady balancing herself on a hula hoop hanging in the air with strands of ribbon that she used to pull herself up, ya know. that was kinda impressive though. if i could, i really wanna try that :P hehe. she made it look kinda easy.

i can't believe it's almost over :( i remembered feeling like it's gonna be a long trip and i was so psyched. i looked to the horizon, hear the water splashed, i was .. charmed. which took me to an episode of charmed where phoebe turned into a mermaid and answered to the calling of the sea, and how wonderful it was, based on the way she described it anyway. hehe. but according to barney stinson, mermaid came about because men sailed at sea didn't found any land and long for a female company that a huge ugly fish looked like mermaid. haha! that kinda make sense to me though :D hee. like a hungry fat kid would have hallucination of chocolates, burgers and fries :P okay, i trailed off. i really wish for a beach house.

during dinner, all the crew in the dining service came out, in an awesome way, gave a farewell speech and sing a farewell song (^^) how sweet. their services are the best. our waiter was really nice. and maybel, i don't know who exactly she is, but she's nice. and she knows my name, like wow. before leaving, we had a little chat with our assigned waiter, who has been serving us, and she said, working on board is not bad. the cons, working every day for six months (and that includes weekend). the pros, everything else is free ;D so what you get is what you get. your salary spent on nothing. i mean, not on food or place.. like us, we have to pay for bills, groceries, gas. ooh, they got to travel also, for free. they can go off shore to where the ship ports. i think i wanna work on board. at least, for that six months, kinda like a temp job :P haha. they're using us currency, so if i convert to myr.. woo.

Friday, 17th Dec 2010:

we spent the day walking around along orchard road.

that night, we had dinner at secret recipe, at vevo city. we saw the sign halal, thank goodness. i was really craving for meat :P that i ordered lamb stew. ooh, yummeyh :9 the service were so not friendly at all, when compared to the one we had on the ship, who are all very wonderful and genuinely nice too. they don't plaster a big fake smile. the waiter who took our order looked .. bored, and tired, of taking orders. the crew on the ship worked everyday, and the waiter may have the weekends off !? yeah, i kinda am a sucker for good services, and peeved at bad services.

paaaaarrrteyyhh

2010-12-16T17:48:00.007+08:00

longest entry ever, i think. bear with me :P it's frustrating enough to not have the option to blog then and there in the moment on the spot.

Tuesday, 14th Dec 2010:

my family and i went mini-golfing. the weather was perfectly nice (^^) with the perfect breeze of air. it was almost lunch time, so while waiting, mom and dad played a little of shuffleboard. i knew of this game from a video game, of barbie and ken to be exact ;P haha. childhood memory that's become a bit of a blur to me. i took lots of photos, candids. i love candids ;D i feel good when i got those snapshots of precious candids.

my brothers were off at optix. they ditched me. i can't hang at optix because i am no longer a teenager. optix was a place for teens aged between 12 and 17. there's a place for azfar too, for little kids, but there's no place for me (-_-)"

even though there's no meat or rice, i still managed to fill myself up! it's unbelievable. there's meat, except it may not be halal, and there's no rice. even if there is, it's cooked with meat. ooh, the mushroom soup was .. goddess. it was the first word that came to mind ;P it was very delicious. i had it spoonful after spoon, it was hard to stop. it was that deliciously good.

that night, was dinner at romeo & juliet dining room with formal dress code. my brothers're looking handsome. their sister's looking pretty good too ;b i feel beautiful :) it's so great that i can strut in the dress and not feel out of place, or awkward, or weird and conscious. mom looked wonderful too. even azfar was in blazer. the dining room has such a nice atmosphere. there's a guitarist finger-pluckin' the song beauty and the beast. it was beautiful. then, i heard the song hotel california. it was so nice listening to the guy. yesternight, a vionlin-ist and a pianist performed. we had such pleasant dinners.

although, the choice we had for dinners were limited. poor azfar, he had only fries, since there was nothing else for him. the noodles're not to our taste buds and escargots were so out of the question. ooh, and there's no chili sauce. none at all. we're beginning to think that only malaysians have that. are we? tonight's the second time i had salmon in a row. thank goodness it's good. if we have maggie, that would be great, we thought ;P haha.

after dinner, we went to the that's entertainment theather, yet again ;) although, this time, we watched a live musical show performed by the royal caribbean international singers and dancers that was on. it was amazingly awesome. i loved it. it has always been in my interest ;D i feel inspired to take up a degree in musical theater perhaps later on :P teehee. singin' and dancing', that'd be a fun thing to do for a job ;P

Wednesday, 15th Dec 2010:

today, they're .. porting? make a stop at phuket, patong beach to be exact. i saw a shirt that says.. good guys go to heaven (or something), bad guys go to patong. so, i got the impression that patong beach is a pretty wild place. there's gonna be a beach party that night. the stage was already set i see. there was nothing much there, except people harassing to give us "cheap" rides on the tuk tuks. we just took a walk, go for lunch, got a thai foot massage (^^) then, went back on board. the day was so hot i kinda wished i didn't get off of the ship. hehe.

yesterday, they stopped at port kelang, but since we're from malaysia, there was no point in going to shore, so we spent the day on the not-that-big ship. it took us half-day to roam the ship ;) deck by deck, starboard to port, forward to .. what's back in their term? hehe. port is left, right? i mean, am i right? haha.

that night, after dinner, .. paul had mentioned about a pool party on the first night ;D the party was tonight! :D hee. it was the the most fun i've ever had in the duration of the cruise (^^) teehee. mom was oh-so-sweet, understanding, cool, awesome enough to let me dance :P teehee. they all had their moment, their thing, like azfar, mini-golfing, so dancing, was my thing :D hee.

it started off with adam, one of the cruise directors, teaching us four-wall dance moves, a simple repetitive moves to dance along the music played by the band called kinetics ;) it was fun! actually, it started off with the band crankin' up the music, and the cruise directors and some of the royal caribbean dancers, danced. it was so cool. they're like all over the place, on deck, appeared out of nowhere. apparently, they were among us, and they just got up and danced, synchronized. then, we made the longest samba line dance! :D it was awesome. we went around the deck, as the line grow longer picking up the people. until at one point, they made bridges (^^) the last person would've gone under the longest bridge ever. it was awesome. then, we just continued dancing the night away, under the stars in the night sky (^^) it was fun :') hehe

now that's a party. haha. the teens had a party of their own, my brothers said, but it wasn't much since there were very few of them.

ting! ;D

2010-12-14T07:43:00.003+08:00

last night was so much fun! (^^) i was truly entertained. david dimuzio is one talented man. not only he's a world champion juggler, but he also sings !? like what uuup! hahaha and he sings while he juggles. he sang the song defying gravity, which has become one of my favourites after hearing it on glee ;P haha. how appropriate, ain't it ;D there's this one routine where he juggled in the dark with balls that glowed in the dark. it was awesome, like right off of a screensaver ;D

he's funny too. he said he's been practicing something for seven years, or was it seven months, or was three ? anyway, he's been practicing it for a very long time, and he said, once you see it, you're gonna be .. wow! what a waste of time.. HAHA. he's been practicing to juggle seven balls, and said that if he could do it, chicks would go "ooh.." and he waited for the "ooh"s but there was nothing ;P haha. he also tried juggling while riding a motorcycles, and showed that it's impossible cause all the ball blew away. haha! he's cool too. at the end of this one routine, he failed to catch it, so he tried it again, and again, and again, until he nailed it. and he did. amazing. in between routines, he'd made us do some stretching, said that if we all do it, we could steer the ship in the direction. LOL. and made us do these hand gestures as well, snap a picture and said that he's gonna show his mom that he got a standing ovation. LOL. you guessed it, the hand gestures were as if we're clapping.

you've seen me tweeting all about it ;D teehee.

and the two host, paul and adam, the cruise directors, they're funny too. they cracked us up with their funny little acts. paul said something that made me go, omg, that's so true ;P it goes something like this. you're about to board and you saw the ship, you'd be "wow, that's a big ship". you entered the ship and saw the two panoramic elevators at the centrum, and you'd go "wow, what a big ship". it's time for lunch and you head to the windjammers cafe, and you're like "wow, what a big buffet". you go to your room, and .. "oh. not so big after all". *LOL ;D and when you thought things couldn't get any smaller, you went into the bathroom.. so tiny! haha ;D

the ship had set sail to port kelang. before the show at the that's entertainment theater, my family and i spent the time on the open deck. the wind was so strong that it almost blew me off of my feet (^^)

btw, pisau cukur is so off base :P haha i see no malays. no potential.. ;P

i went to bed with a smile on my face, oh-so-wonderfully-happy ;)

p.s. ting! is an inside joke, by paul. the sound made when you're insert the sea pass card when you're going off shore.

uuuuuppp... and dooowwnnn...

2010-12-10T22:00:00.009+08:00

"so" ??! wth?? that did it. oh my gosh. why am i feeling this way? why am i crying? oh, darn. it's not fair! :'(

whatever.

great. first, i was excited. then, i'd freaked. i was back to being happy after a shopping trip. now, i'm down. lower than the ground. haih. life is so much like a roller-coaster ride, one that you can't get out off.

p.s. syim and adib made it sound better by saying i keep getting the dl that it's no big deal :) haha.

i feel better now.

see, sometimes, some of the emotions are only temporary that i feel no need to blog about it, but i made this one exception ;) just to make an example out of it. which is why i don't really like blogging when i'm .. angry or pissed off about something nor people who blogged about their nasty hatred. no offense ;P i mean, emotions may cloud up your better judgement. (something i picked up from charmed, teehee)

p.p.s. does long spatulas exist? ;D lol.

insecurities, overshadowed, invincible..

2010-12-10T21:00:00.006+08:00

4.0 ?! why bother asking me anyway ?? i can't top that. i mean, what's higher than a 4.0 ?! hmph.

i only want to make my parents proud :(

insecurities sucks big time. i'm feeling so insecure, and sometimes inferior. i have always felt that way about myself.

i'm no 4-flat student, or straight a student. never have been. although, i wish. but hey, i've got that dean's list straight for semesters now. that's good news, right? i'm hoping that i can keep that up, and earn the chancellors' award that i've heard of. that's my aim. and i'm so glad that there's still hope for me. phew. i've been holding that breath for so long now. my heart was pumping so hard that it almost blew a hole in my chest.

it's just .. unfair.

i've been happier. the first semester was the happiest. lowest expectations, the best results. i thought i'd feel better right at this moment. i was wrong. i wrote a draft this evening. things took a different turn and so i wrote this new entry.

whatever. i plan to land on top next semester, right out of this funk. wish me all the best.

p.s. i watched how i met your mother today, and it was hilarious. i knew exactly what it felt like being the blitz and i hate it. it sucks. hehe ;P

oh. i was feeling so low i couldn't even enjoy watching reruns of charmed anymore, so i turned to here. still ... not feeling any better though.

congratulations to all, btw :) i've heard that so many of us passed. it's so awesome. our batch is awesome ;D

2010-12-10T00:25:00.007+08:00

they don't understand. i have .. lots of things to bring. it's better to be prepared, remember? exhibit a, the incident we had on top of mt. kinabalu. it's not like we have, i, have disposable income to spend on whatever things i might need but left! like hayley, who doesn't really pack for her tour, just buy them t-shirts. gee, at least, i'm not like daphne, who if you noticed the number of bags she brought to spooky island. i asked for one more extra bag. you said so yourself, souvenirs. all the more reason to bring the extra bag, to make the extra room, cause there ain't no more room in my bag.

hee :P

more, merrier

2010-12-09T20:38:00.006+08:00

i went to see yasmin today :) gosh, i've missed her.

anyway, while catching up with her, we were talking and i realized.. i am no wife material. i can't cook. i don't cook. in this house, my brother, akmal, does the cooking, sometimes, when my mother's too tired to cook. i feel kinda ashamed. i feel like i'm no use, no good. i mean, i helped out around.. but i don't think that's enough. haih.

i used to have two brothers, or wait, three, i forgot azfar, he's little, compared to akmal and ammar who're now shadowing me cause they're tall. but now, i have six! it's giving me blast of headaches, especially when they cheer on football -__-" if i were piper (pardon me, i've been watching reruns of charmed) i'd freeze em', or blew them all up, accidentally of course :P haha. they're so freakin' loud when they're playing winning eleven! gah.

although, i have to say, i love having them around. it's kinda .. merry. ya know, they always say, the more the merrier ;) it gets the job done, with little portion of help on my behalf ;P hee. and i'm very loving that fact. haha ;D

tangled

2010-12-08T17:59:00.006+08:00

i'm depressed. but not because adib and a'a's not here anymore, or because i can't watch my rerun of charmed since the guys are hogging the computer playing dota, actually that too, but mostly because, i just had my hair cut and i miss having my long black hair already. i feel like i've lost the rapunzel inside of me :P haha. i always forgot how much i love having my long hair. it was the longest i've ever had my hair grown into and i was loving it.. i have no idea why i went to the saloon and have it cut. i shouldn't have. shoot. haih. whatevs. it'll grow back. and i shall make an oath not to cut it any time soon, or later.

only girl

2010-12-07T23:52:00.014+08:00

adib and a'a had went back. i'm back to being the only girl in the house. don't get me wrong. i'm not complaining. i'm not about to ask for a baby sister :P haha. ( the next baby in this family is gonna be mine ;b hehehe little wyatt in charmed is so friggin' cute!! but ya know, still long way to go, okay. ) i couldn't even stand azfar. he is so freakin' annoying some .. most of .. almost all the time.

my home is now currently filled with lots of boys. two of my cousins came over, haziq and amjad who just got here today. plus my brother's .. adopted brother from the mrsm too.

my brothers, they have each other. not to mention, lots of games and animes.. i'm .. a lone wolf. so it was so great to have a'a and adib over. they're like the sisters that i never had. haha.

today was so tiring. all in all, it was fun. it was such a happy tuesday most definitely. tuesday's becoming my favourite day, cause i seem to remember having and tweeting happy tuesdays (^^)

i woke up at .. i don't know what time they woke me up, adib and a'a, but it was sure early. it was so very rare for me to wake up at those hours these days..almost everyday actually. we went to tropicana club, and swam. we were planning to go to the gym but non-members, yours truly and a'a, don't have access to it, so we just went for a swim. we did laps. it was very tiring. we were already out of breath after one lap. haha. and adib went crazy on the slide, going down as a superman and other crazy stunt.

it was kinda unbelievable. it was really happening. haha ;P

after about an hour and half, we went into the hot tub, and cool tub to cool down before entering the steam room. it was so friggin hot in there, i mean.. steam everywhere so very thick it was kinda hard for me to breath. after almost fifteen minutes, like after 10 minutes, we went out. i couldn't stand it much longer. hehe :P then, into the sauna. so very hot. then, subway for brunch. at about 11 a.m. i guess at ou :D that's what i get for having, stickin' with two fitness freak as my friends ;P haha.

but i have to say, today has been most productive. i went shopping ;D hee! then, when i have almost all that i need, we went to ikea. adib's been craving for the meatballs, which i've been wanting to try too, the most talked about meatballs. it was awesome! and the cake, dome i think, and that other.. that looks like that one kuih melayu. haha. whatevs. meatballs and fries..? awesome! hee ;P

while i'm out with my gals, my family at home had a spring cleaning. guess i was off the hook. and for dinner, i skipped out. today has got to be.. one of the best days :) thanks, ma. and the rest.

and thanks, adib and a'a, for coming over. it's been great having you both around here :D i kinda wish that you'd fit into my bag and come with me on the cruise too ;P hee. just so i have some company to roam the boat maybe or, be my pic. haha.

xoxo

p.s. double rainbow! ;D salam maal hijrah :)

hello, december

2010-12-02T01:21:00.005+08:00

in the midst of the recent issue i've just been dealt with, i almost forgot to tell you about my great day (^^) teehee.

it was such a great way to welcome december. i spent the day with my friends, nady, alisa and nadrah. nady and nad tagged along their little sibs, haqeem and iffah respectively. we went ice-skating :D it was suppose to be a day out with the rest of us but yas, lina and nawa, and fee couldn't come. how i've missed them. but i got to catch up with the others. it's so amazing, i mean, they're so amazing. i've befriended such smart people, but i myself.. hrm ;P haha.

i'm beginning to love ice-skating. hehe. i'm getting pretty good at it, not that good, but good enough to skate by myself slowly (^^) rather than holding on to the railings at the sideline all the time like i used to. hee. it was pretty fun :)

what to pack ?!

2010-12-02T00:43:00.007+08:00

i thought there'd be no post for today. i was wrong.

my mom sent me a message on facebook, a link to read through and google the things i need to know for our family vacation we're gonna go away on, just to make sure i'd pack all the right things we'd need.

it says here on the article and i quote :

what to pack.

onboard attire - shorts, t-shirts, slacks, trousers, casual skirts, blouses and sundresses are all perfect during the day, whether indoors or out.

problem! i don't have shorts, or slacks, or sundresses. all i have are jeans! and lots of em' not to mention. dang. what am i going to wear :O major wardrobe issue here. *deep breaths. haha. whoa my gosh. if you don't understand, it's a major issue because i'm gonna look stupid if i wear..sweaters perhaps, on a sunny day under the sun.. haih.

this calls for a shopping trip :P haha but i'm way over my limit already it seems.

ooh, and more :

dinner attire. smart casual on one night and formal on one other night. smart casual, meaning dresses and pantsuits, and formal, cocktail dresses.

i have one dress, black one, that i've been wearing over and over again on two, or make that three (?) nights of my life when i attended the formal events (prom, prom and dinner). yeah, there are not many formal events during my entire lifetime. and i don't know if that could pass off as cocktail dress. what if i overdressed? oh my gosh, the embarrassment.. i've never get that meaning of smart casual.

fashion or style are not my forte.

excitement

2010-11-30T00:34:00.005+08:00

i am so friggin excited! :D hee. i can barely contain my excitement that i've tweeted it all out, as opposed to blur it all here ;P hee!

anyway, my dad just got back, and my family and i were just sitting there and talk, about the family vacation we're gonna go away on in two weeks! (^^) wee! haha

it sounds like there's so many things to do, so many things we can do.. awwh, it all sounded so good i just can't wait. and i'm gonna bring my camera this time. hopefully, i won't forget it, and get in touch with the shutter bug inside of me ;) when i browse on flickr and tumblr, there's so many beautiful pictures, and i wish that i was as good, and be the one that'd be posting those pictures.

i gotta get some sleep, before i look like a panda. actually, i'm already looking like one anyway. haih. i'm not get any sleep with the excitement in the air. i barely get any sleep nowadays anyway. and the endless possibilities of things we can do later sounds like i'm not gonna get any sleep then either. haha. good night and sweet dreams.

p.s. the other night, i dreamt of damon salvatore ;P like i said, sweet dreams ;P hehe

marry you

2010-11-26T00:25:00.005+08:00

hey! :D i've just watched Charmed 410, before i went to watch Glee 208, both of which contained weddings! haha.

Furt has got to be my favourite episode so far :D i love the song they sang at Kurt's dad wedding, which as it turn out to be, Bruno Mars, Marry You, like aaah! i would shriek my lungs out if i could. haha. then, they did a number, Just The Way You Are, another Bruno Mars' song. ah, such sweet, sweet, SWEET songs. i'm swooned! especially to Will's cover of Michael Buble's Sway. i've always have a soft spot for that song. my heart just melt ;b teehee. it was such a beautiful wedding :) and it was black and red, just the way i dream of it ;P then, the performance on the dance floor, in the ballroom i'm guessing, the one when they sang "just the way you are" i thought it was such a beautiful moment. the glee club is awesome.

it was all so beautiful, and now i'm filled with bubbles of joy ;) hee. haih :)

baby, please don't go

2010-11-24T21:21:00.006+08:00

it's been over a week since my semester break started and i'm having a blast! that i didn't quite have the time to blog. teehee ;P more like i didn't really feel like it, eventhough i really want to blog about those good times i had during my holidays (^^) hee! anyway, so here i am, updating.. i miss blogging. i used to blog all the time. hrm.

i thought i was gonna hang with my friends today, but as it turns out, the plan was postponed to next wednesday. it was kind of a bummer, since i've already set my mind to go out today. i've spent yesterday being a couch potato watching charmed, season 3 (now at season 4). i have to say, season 3 is by far my favourite season! ;D i love phoebe and cole, and piper and leo. piper and leo are so cute together.

staying at home is wonderful, as long as i have something to watch to fill my time ;D but not for long. so i thought, take the car and go out (i love this!), with my mom, since it's just the two of us only, at home.

it's awesome.

we are happy family

2010-11-17T19:44:00.006+08:00

SEMESTER BREAK!! WOOHOO! BOOYAH! :D i've never been so lifted (^^) haha

14th Nov. 2010, Sunday:

tonight was one of the best night ever!! my housemates and i, we were cleaning up the house. we had fun in doing so too ;P hee! when all is done, we danced to the night ;D i was whipping my hair back and forth, enjoying the moment and letting go (after bumming over the calculus paper we had today) when suddenly i was splashed with water from behind. then, everybody screamed! like a war has begun, as if a bomb has been dropped into the room. haha! more like water balloons! (^^) a'a hit me. but instead of throwing the balloon, she used something sharp to poke the balloon and let the water splash all over me, cause throwing the balloon doesn't exactly ensure that the balloon will break. haha. it was so much fun (^^) the room was flooded of course after that. haha.

i love you

you love me

we are happy family

with a great big hug and a kiss from me to you

won't you say you love me too :)

i'm so thankful for my housemates. they're awesome ;*

15th Nov. 2010, Monday:

my housemates and i spent another great day together. this may be our last year together so we thought we spend as much time as we could together ;P hehe. we went ice-skating :) i'm getting the hang of it, but i prefer skiing so much more. i wanna go skiing again.

16th Nov. 2010, Tuesday:

after two days of outing..i just wanna keep celebrating and enjoy my freedom, of my holidays, so i went out to OU with my brothers :D hee! actually, the original thought was to get the shoes i saw, but then, i didn't find it, so i just window-shopped for that is all that i could afford. too bad for my brothers, dragged around by me. though, not long after that, mom and dad joined us, and we had lunch. like boo-yah! i didn't have to take out a single penny ;P teehee.

and today.. it's hari raya korban. my family and i went to kota damansara for the sembelih lembu. i witnessed it, like eek! if i eat veggies, i'd be a vegetarian already, but i don't, so.. i learnt that the cow we have for the korban, is gonna be our ride to syurga. wow, that's good :)

it seems like the fun is just never-ending :) only boring people get bored ;P hehe. somehow, i'm really enjoying my holidays this time, after a tough semester.. i've struggled a lot, so now i just wanna enjoy my time, live like there's no tomorrow, break from the routines i had in college ;) cause when the results come out, i don't know if i could enjoy my time anymore. *shakes it off. i'm gonna worry about the later, when the time comes. now, if i could, i wanna be care-free like a child ;D hee.

Thanks for the memories :)

2010-11-10T16:31:00.003+08:00

first of all, i wanna wish my mother a very happy birthday :) i love you, ma. my mother, who people always mistaken as my sister, cause she looks so young to have me as a daughter -_-" whatever. as long as i inherit her youth-looking genes, i don't mind ;P haha.

anyway, my dear friend, nady, tagged me on a note on facebook, and i'ma share it here :) teehee.

RULES :

1. Put your music library on shuffle.

2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.

3. You must write that song title as the answer to the question, no matter how silly it sounds. Most of the time they seem to work though, strangely enough.

4. Ok, go!

5. When you're done, tag 20 people in this note, and make sure to tag the person who sent you this. The answer to #20 is the title of your note

1. If someone says, “Is this okay?” you say..

Tears of an Angel (RyanDan, youtube for New Moon soundtrack)

2. How would you describe yourself?

Suicide Note (Disagree)

3. What do you like in a guy/girl?

Hard (Rihanna)

4. How do you feel today?

Hold Onto Your Heart (Tina Parol, from When In Rome OST)

5. What is your life’s purpose?

Always Be My Baby (David Cook)

6. What's your motto?

Lose Yourself (Eminem)

7. What do your friends think of you?

The Wake Up Songs (The Submarines, from Gossip Girl tracklist)

8. What do you think of your parents?

Please Don’t Go (Mike Posner)

9. What do you think about very often?

Not Anymore (LeToya Luckett)

10. What is 2 + 2?

Good Enough (Evanescence)

11. What do you think of your best friend(s)?

Waiting (There For Tomorrow)

12. What do you think of the person you like?

Sing For Absolution (Muse)

13. What is your life story?

The Carpal Tunnel of Love (Fall Out Boy)

14. What do you want to be when you grow up?

Today Was A Fairytale (Taylor Swift)

15. What do you think of when you see the person you like?

Never Let You Go (Justin Bieber)

16. What will you dance to at your wedding?

Today Was A Fairytale Cover (Ahmir, youtube)

17. What will they play at your funeral?

One Time (Justin Bieber)

18. What is your biggest fear?

Don’t You Know Who I Think Am (Fall Out Boy)

19. What is your biggest secret?

Pages (There For Tomorrow)

20. What will you post this as?

Thanks For The Memories (Fall Out Boy)

i like my motto (^^) haha. i think i might use that, and #16 ;D it's perfect! and Ahmir mashed it up with the song You Belong With Me, so yeah, it's perfect ;P hee. #15 might be true, if such a person exist ;) and #8 :) i like.

yeah, i listen to Justin Bieber. don't judge me! ;P haha

comfort food, i guess. teehee.

2010-11-05T23:06:00.005+08:00

did you know what i did today? i've done some reading during the day, before succumbing to the calling of the laptop after i'm done reading. hehe. after reading about tawakal in takaful, i've learned that everything is in the hands of god. i've done reading, and i've prayed that i'll remember everything that i've read. aamin.

anyway, in the evening, my dad picked me up and we went to midvalley. there was an expo there, and my family and i went to check it out. i was like, this is boring. i went out to have some fun, well, not exactly fun, but maybe to eat perhaps. haha. eat. that was all that i thought about ;P

and we did eat. a lot! :D hee. well, i did, eat a whole lot. i had brunch at 11 a.m. and have dinner at around 6 p.m. usually. that was my routines in college these days. i wake up, look at the time, do my bed, take a bath and eat :)

i had lamb chop at midvalley food arena, had some of mom's fettuccine carbonara and ammar's sizzling plate yimm mee or something. i'm not sure what it's called, but i had some of it, since he didn't finished it. after that, i had a regular ice blended drink, all to myself. note that there's no sharing. i just ate, and i drink another full cup. that's a lot to digest, and i was almost full. but that's not all. after that, we headed to auntie annie's and i had sour cream and onion pretzel with chesse dip, plus azfar's pretzel that he didn't finish. let's not let the food go to waste, i say ;) haha

if there's people watching me, they'd go "omg, look at this girl goes..." haha. my dad figured, that with finals and all, studying takes a lot of energy. hahaha ;P and mom added, with all the burning of the midnight all. hrm, true that ;D hehe.

oh, and i made my lil brother cried :P he was actually scared for his life when i went behind the wheels. hehe. my dad parallel park in front of the cars, blocking it for awhile, he's got some business to do. there was a lot of people and not many parkings and my father couldn't wait, so he left me to move the car when needed. and eventually, this lady wanted to go out, so i had to move it out of the way. with the little experience of mine driving gigantic cars, i was nervous. i panicked even more when the car's alarm was about to go off since i didn't punched in the code, cause i don't know the code. you see, my dad install this alarm, where you have to punch in the code before you drive, to prevent hot wiring or people stealing your car when you left it unlock with the engine on, i guess.

i realized, i panicked oh-so-quiet easily. there's been a few other times where i've panicked before. darn. i gotta work on that. hrm.

that's all for today :)

finals are here

2010-10-24T13:56:00.008+08:00

i like studying for CTU. it makes me feel smart doing research here and there (since there's not much notes to refer to), making full use of the internet ;P haha. i've been studying the subject for the past three days now, except for yesterday, since yesterday my family and i went to hutan lipur.. something, and took a dip in the waterfall :D this is kinda silly but i'm kinda training myself to get use to the cold ;P haha. the water was so cold, i feel refreshed ;D hee.

it's been so long, almost a month, since my last post, so i thought, i shall update it.

poor blog.. i've been neglecting it.

oh, btw, yesterday, i was so happy :P hehe. bullet ... averted. haha. some things were brought to the surface, and i was so afraid that history was gonna repeat itself, but it didn't. it took another turn, and i'm glad. i don't want any dramas.. hehe.

i've only been studying CTU. i haven't touch the other subjects. cause that's about the only subject that i can study on my own. i'll study ASC soon, and BEL.. i don't know what to study for BEL. don't get me wrong. i mean, when we were in high school, we have that Sonnet 18 or Phantom of the Opera to study for. this time, they give us two articles to synchronize.. so, basically, everything is already given now, isn't it?

for calculus and statistics, i need my mentor :(

at this rate, it seems very unlikely... *sigh. i'm so messed up.

"There is more than one way to make money...aish....why did i had to pick the hard way....."

- a'a

haha true that. for me, it's the only way i know how..

haih, gotta get back to my research, can't. waste. any. more. time ;P

btw, i am so loving the vampire diaries !! ;D

ocean blue, turquoise sea, my favorite colors

2010-09-26T18:15:00.020+08:00

during the holidays, i went to pulau redang for our annual family vacation. we went there last raya holidays as well that dad said it had become our 'kampung' ;P hehe i couldn't agree more. i love it there. the water is crystal clear. the sands are soft. i feel like a mermaid swimming at the beach. there's fishes even at knee deep! for four days, i was living the life, living la vida loca ;) hehe if i could, that's how i would wanna live my life. carefree, adventurous, spontaneous, freedom. in other words, no studying!! :P hehe.

the place is so beautiful that i wish i have a land there. dad's gonna buy a boat, and i could go there whenever i want to. like a place to run away to, when life's too overwhelming. hehe. what a dream. i'mma show you the pictures i took. i hope i did justice in showing the beauty that i see with my own to eyes through the lens.

the resort i wish stay in, seri pacifica. the rooms face the beach. last time i went and took a sneak, the bed was heading the sea, so you'll wake up to the sunrise and has the pleasure of enjoying the sunset in the comfort of your own room, snuggling up in bed perhaps. haha. that's just how i imagined it. but of course i think so with a RM1k a night.. and that doesn't even include food. awwh, look at those gorgeous water..

the resort we went to last time.

the resort we went to. see the blue top? the room was okay. they have no tv! so, i'd get pretty bored at night. there was nothing to do! if you're following me on twitter, you'd know how bored i was. i just stayed in bed, listening to my ipod, till .. till it was morning already, when i wake up, brush my teeth, went down for breakfast and hit the beach! :D hee. we did watch a movie, camp rock 2 and vampire suck on the laptop my mom brought along. she can't leave her farm.. :b

the beach is pretty long that i just wanna go jogging along the beach, from one end to another. to seri pacifica, to that last resort we went to, i forgot the name, to laguna.. which is on the other side of the island. i would so go if i had a companion. i so want to at night when i was so friggin' bored, but .. nah, i didn't have the guts :( if only i had a friend to go with.

*gasp* whoa. would you look at that.. it's so blue! i love it!! isn't it beautiful.. wow ;D that's a place to live.

see, private property. outsiders, the non-guest or members, like myself, can't enter.. gee.

as you can see, the rooms are facing the beach. it's so friggin' awesome. i wanted so much to own a unit. that'd be so totally cool. haha :P

i think this has got to be my favourite picture. it's so pretty in colour!! :D it's so turquoise, i'm gonna dieee! hahaha ;D agnes, despicable me ;)

you see the sandy land? like a white thin line on the horizon.. dad said that's how island start ... starts. haha. what are you waiting for dad? put your name on it ;P teehee! it looks like the setting of POTC 3, where they, exchange jack sparrow and who .. i can't recall, between elizabeth and davy jones. i don't know if you could land there though, since it's a small land. hrm, i'm curious. i wonder if i could stand there. that'd be cool. hehe ;D

wow, again, would you look at that? haih. it's such a beautiful sight to sore eyes.

they've kept the place well and takes really good care of it. dad said there's no more land left to buy after i told him of my desire to acquire a place of my own in the island. even if there is, people would be fighting over it. i guess, they don't anybody to ruined the place with developments and everything. haih, i love the water. i wanna swim in it all day.

another shade of blue i love ;D

after all the blues i see today, it'd made me feel to wear blue tomorrow, to class ;D hehe!

that was a night to remember..

2010-09-26T17:49:00.006+08:00

one more month, and it's .. it's .. it's my finals :( boohoo. dang. what a total bummer! i'm gonna spend my birthday by sitting for my final paper. gee, that sucks.

to my parents, there's no such thing as birthday presents for me ;P hehe cause they've got me everything i could ask for :) i'm like so blessed. syukur, alhamdullillah. so, uh, shoutout to my friends .. haha i'm just kiddin' ;P teehee.

it's the thoughts that count. i just wanna spend it with my loved ones, being happy, smiling and laughing out loud, going crazy and to be able to reminiscence, look back and laugh, remembering the good times :)

haha. haih.

that's what it's all about. that's what matters :)

natural beauty, not

2010-09-19T19:43:00.008+08:00

yesterday, i went beraya at my friends' in BSD here. we took a lot of pictures (^^) and here i am, editing those ridiculous pictures. haha. the qualities're not that good. some are dark and i have to brighten it, while some are overexposed and i ... well, that i don't know how to fix. i try darkening it, but.. oh, well, as long as our happy faces are seen and clear, that's good enough for me. i'm actually here because my faces don't look good in the pictures :( it's oily. it's dark :( but for memories' sake and my friends' i posted it anyway :)

all of this came from one of the tweets from GuysTruth saying "I hate when people post pictures up dissing themselves. If you think you look bad, don't post it.". i mean, i totally agree.

Raya in BSD

2010-09-18T22:47:00.007+08:00

i had such a great day (^^) i went beraya in BSD to my friends' :)

aisha had an open house. there, i met the long-time-no-see, lina, nady, and oh-so-different-now syaz and feeqa, and azalea. there was also hiel, izzat, afiq naqib. it was so much fun! chatting, catching up, laughing, taking lots of pictures with them :D i had a great time at aisha's :)

then, we're off to hielfiqri's. his house were just down the road, kinda. haha. there was nobody at his home, so he invited us. he has such a lovely home. his is an apartment at the top floor, and he bought two units, combined together, making it very large, that it seems like a penthouse suite ;D with a balcony that has a very beautiful and greenish view.

lina's mother prepared a spaghetti for us. so then, we were at lina's ;D i love lina's house as well. it's so cosy and homey! teehee (^^) we chatted, yet again, and a 'secret' burst! ;P haha. not.

it was so funny. from aisha's, to hiel's to lina's. at hiel's, they're reminising about their school years at skbsd2. it sounds like they have such a wonderful time there, unforgettable memories, very awesome. unfortunately, i wasn't apart of it. i was in maluri, sktbm, so i just listened. haha. while they were chatting away, recalling back one by one of their memorable moments, i happily eat the pineapples one by one ;P it's juicy. it's so much better than drinking the mango drinks hiel made ;P org bujang's.. hahaha they called it coloured sky juice. lol :P there's a colourless soda by spritzer, this, the drinks hiel made, is the opposite of that. hahaha. sorry, hiel ;P at least, that's better than not serving any water at all, as yasmin said it ;)

nawa just had her appendix remove, from food poisoning, after eating at the club house the other day, which i didn't went since i was in redang, so we visited her :)

i had such a great time, alhamdullillah :) though, i wish i could be at two places at once. adib had her open house too, and put, which i can't join. the day before, they had a convoy as well to shah alam, which i didn't join either sadly :(

then again, there's a month to raya ;P haha that's what they're telling me. hehe.

pretty in pink!

2010-09-02T00:07:00.001+08:00

i hate wednesdays the most. there's BEL for four hours, followed by three hours of Calculus. but usually, BEL doesn't last that long, thank god. and calculus always past with a breeze. there's just so much to absorb that i kinda missed the time. but sometimes it can be so unbearable.

after all that, we have koko class, HKR, erm all about family and marriage, which is kinda nice btw. there's nothing much to complain :) hehe the lecturer, the ustaz, is so very nice (^^) and the class is kinda fun too. hehe i love learning in the class ;D hehe and today's class ... we have to present, i have to do a presentation. and it's about the right choice of husband, i mean, the characteristics and traits that'd make a guy a good husband. like islam and beriman and all. hehe. it was pretty embarassing. cause for me, it was describing one guy that actually exist, and just might be the one sitting in front of me. hehe.

anyway, after all the class, there's one thing that i could look forward to. mal wanted to eat at murni. so adib and i drove our housemates to the place. it's very delicious, their food. their drinks too. haha they have mocktails with names like i miss you, i love you. ayu was ordering i miss you, and i'm not sure how the conversation went, but there was one part where one said, i miss you too. haha that's funny. i mean, saying i love you two to the waiter taking the orders. haha. although, the portion of the food are pretty big. but it's all worth it :)

and since it's wednesday, and i just found out that if you wear pink on the wednesdays, you could get a discount at baskin robbins, so we went to baskin robbins after that ;D hehe i'm so frustrated that i missed the discounts yesterday. i was so busy and caught up with the activities held at the college that i totally forgotten about the discount every 31st. i was looking forward to that already, and i missed it. it was such a bummer. so i asked adib to take me today then. hehe ;D

i was hoping that i could have a taste of my favourite flavour, maui brownie madness, but there was none. the girl behind the counter said, there's no more already :( huh, bummer. my other favourite, jamoca almond fudge also wasn't available. dang. so i just settled with other chocolate flavour. erm, as long as it's baskin robbins, i'd love it. it's yummy! hehe :D

candle light

2010-08-31T03:19:00.005+08:00

on the eve of merdeka, the kolej held an event, candle light merdeka :) it was so nice.

they dimmed the lights, and set the mood, and have the candles lit all over the place, and also form the word merdeka with it. they made it compulsory to buy the candles, which i'm not complaining :) it was so very nice.

they had the guys perform a dikir barat as an opening event. it was fantastic! plain awesome! haha it was hilarious. i didn't get to see it much since i was busy following syimir around taking pictures. i was learning bits of photography with him, and he asked to follow him and snap pictures. kerb was funny, and one guy had his samping fell off on the way out off of the stage ;P lol. funny.

then, there's acoustic performance by arif ganu and muiz. when they started playing your guardian angel, my heart fell. i just love that song so much. i love listening to the song, acoustic live.. the sound of a strumming guitar to my favourite song. it was .. oh-so-amazing. i melted then and there.

i was ecstatic, to be waving the flag and sing my heart out the merdeka songs, and to shout the word merdeka :D i've never felt so patriotic. hehe.

time flew and it was a couple of minutes to midnight. they started the countdown, and jen, our college head student, lead the ... dang, my vocabulary.. we shouted merdeka seven times, and start singing again. this time, on stage, for some of us ;D which includes me. hehe :D

after all the excitement, we were brought down back to earth and mu'i showed a couple of videos, sad videos :( while we live in peace, the paskitanis were living hiding in the home, or being terrorised. babies were killed, men were bleeding. the sight of an oozing brain is not pretty. it was the saddest thing, to see what is really going on the other islamic land, and to be totally truthful, not doing anything about it. mu'i give a speech to always be grateful and remind us of who we are as a muslim.

while others went back up to their rooms, i stayed back, to prepare the vampires' house we're having the next day, on merdeka day, for the karnival they're having. i didn't do anything much. i was part of the ajk, but it was clear to me that i was just the one who sit at the entrance for admission counter. hehe. while the others, i don't know what, arranging the tables some more perhaps, i hung out at the front area, not to let anyone unrelated enter and ruined it for everyone. syimir taught me how to play your guardian angel, we played the guitar. it was nice (^^)

i can't believe i had stayed up so late. i hadn't realize. dang, the dark circles under my eyes have become so apparent and obvious. shoot.

when i see your smile

2010-08-26T00:39:00.004+08:00

i thought of turning in early tonight when they told me that i had to be downstairs for some stuff. they're decorating the college with merdeka theme.

after a while, i had syimir brought down his guitar ;D he once had asked me to come down to show me how to play. so, just now, was the perfect timing. i've been wanting to learn how to play your guardian angel. their version, which i heard muiz played, was so frigging nice! my version, the very basic, that includes the chords G, D, Em, C played over and over again till the end of the song is so boring, which made me lost interest to play again. muiz said, the one he played is considered basic, which means, the chords i've been playing is ... is ... is ... so childish, and suckish. i had once thought it sounded awesome already and thrilled that i could play it. that song has become my favourite.

i was ... melted when i hear the strums to the song your guardian angel, like aah ;D hehe. i love it so much. i love listening to people playing the guitar. i used to make my cousin play the guitar for me. hehe. there's something about the sound of a strumming guitar that moved me, like the sound of the birds chirping on a beautiful day, or the sound of the waves crashing at the beach (^^) it's beautiful.

that's the sole reason as to why i picked up the guitar. i just love listening to it. although, playing the drums might be more fun, but you can't really listen to a song just by playing the drums, can you?

ah. i am so loving the song b(^^)d hrm, i wish i could play better.

dark circles

2010-08-24T01:18:00.004+08:00

i can't sleep. i tried closing my eyes, for a very long time. but i find myself still in bed. this made me think about dreams which leads me to thinking of the movie inception. that's a pretty cool movie, cause it sounds logical enough and may even be possible. what they say about dreams, how you don't remember the way you got there, the beginning of a dream, you just happen to be there, wind up right in the middle of what's going on. only, the difference is, they actually have control over their dreams, live in their dreams the way they want, like kidnapping a man and extract safe combination out of him or be with the love of your life and live together in the world you created. as ashton kutcher tweeted, dream your reality, like cobb and mal, and the old men that cobb and eames found with yusuf.

"do they come here to sleep?"

"no, they come here to be woken up. dream has become their reality"

i'm pretty much captivated with the idea at the moment, after watching the movie last sunday ;P hehe. in my dreams, i have no control over what's going on. it'd be fun to live in a dream, where anything is possible and have anything you want, like shaping the geographical of the land which seemed to be folded. hah, now that it is said out loud, i realized, that sounds cliche ? to want to live in a dream. hrm, maybe that's where they get the idea for the movie, which is very original, i might say.

anyway, i was just trying to say that i can't sleep since i'm not feeling sleepy, prolly due to the four hours of nap time that i had during the day, since class got cancelled. plus, there's too much going on in my mind, like the things i could do while i'm wide awake such as my take-home calculus quiz. but then i need my sleep. otherwise, i'd have headaches or feel sleepy in class tomorrow mornings. to make matter worse, the rings under my eyes are getting so obvious. that ain't gonna look pretty for raya :(

i kept tossing and turning, till when i opened my eyes, i'd know that i'd been asleep. i don't remember having any dreams..

week 7

2010-08-21T23:54:00.003+08:00

i've been thinking. muiz was kind enough to tell me that we got only half a sem left. we have fourteen weeks of classes and now is week seven, or was it seven weeks have passed. hrm. either way, there's not much time left. i gotta start prepping for final. dang. i don't have a good grasp on my studies, and that got me worried. like seriously worried. i'm aiming for straight dls', if possible, and it's been possible so far.

my calculus is so messed up. it used to be so clear to me. urgh, i hate this! don't get me started with statistics. there's no bad students, only bad teacher. the subject was "ehh". though, i'm beginning to understand, little by little, with the help of my smart-ass friends, thank you very much, for without them i don't know if i could survive. i'm so dependent. shoot. somebody, please, push me. insurance ... hrm, it's a lot of reading. and god knows how much i hate reading subjects. i never aced my history when i was in school. i hate history. it's my worse subject. although, thankfully, insurance is not that bad. it's something of general knowledge. it's pretty useful ;P hehe. hrm, what else? oh. CTU! shoot! i have no idea what we're learning in that class. all i know is al-gharar, takaful and the difference between that and conventional insurance, which we've already learned last semester in ASC class. i never paid attention in the class. there's no book to refer to either! it's like i have zero knowledge on that class. okay, perhaps 5%, but that is all. dang. fortunately, there's no final paper for EPL. otherwise, i prolly flunked it. i tried once the questions he gave us, and out of 15, i could only answer one. how friggin messed up is that!? after that, i never bothered to try the questions anymore :( muiz had it so easy doing the paper p :( mad too. i'm not so sure about BEL as well. dang. can i keep it up much longer? :(

i hit the calculator and it says that i have to get almost a 4-flat to upped my cgpa :( cookies. when i say cookies, i don't mean cookies. it's just a word substitute to express my frustration. if i did like last sem, it'll dropped, and if i couldn't keep up, i'm gonna drown! cookies!

haih. how did it get so hard.. it was so easy when i first got in :(